MGU 121 | Human Desire

 

Do you need what you want or do you just want it? Desire is so much a part of being human that we take its nature for granted. From where does it stem? What is its purpose, if any? Does it ultimately drive us to achieve more or is it ultimately the root of all suffering? Like almost everything else that is deeply rooted in our humanity, these questions are some of the most polarizing of all. As if that’s not hard enough to ponder, what if desire meets head on with uncertainty? What happens when your desire to control everything in your life is in stark contradiction with a world where the only certain thing is uncertainty? Jason Wrobel and Whitney Lauritsen wrap their heads around this tricky subject in this deep and interesting conversation.

Listen to the podcast here:

Going Down The Rabbit Hole Of Human Desire

I feel we were having a discussion about wanting things that we can’t have. Is this right or did I imagine that we had that conversation?

It sounds familiar. It also feels like in our general banter of life offline as friends and not just business partners and co-creators of this show that it seems like that would be something that we brought up in passing. I don’t think we did a deep dive on it necessarily.

I think we should.

That’s how we’re kicking off this episode then.

I took a note and I need to remind myself to take more in-depth notes about my thoughts because all I wrote out was, “Desire of wanting things you can’t have.” It’s redundant, like having a desire for things that we can’t have.

It’s an interesting thing because things we can’t have brings up a whole consideration of, “Are we talking about material things? Are we talking about social status? Are we talking about a person?” When you say things you can’t have, it brings up a level of, “What exactly are we discussing?” Is that a mechanism of our not-enoughness? Is it a mechanism of a belief system of thinking, “I’ll never get to that level of success, abundance, privilege, opportunity,” or is it something as basic as, “I have amorous feelings or a desire to be with this other person,” but they’re in a relationship and therefore they’re currently unobtanium? It’s a deep diverse box to crack open and talk about because it brings up the question of what exactly are we talking about when we think we can’t have something?

We can talk about it generally, specifically about how that plays out in our lives. The concept of, “I can’t have something,” is that even true? Part of my thought process is, “Is it true that you can’t have it? Why can’t you have it? What are the circumstances around it?” Something that feels appealing. It’s interesting too because it also plays into how we relate to things that we can have and we’ll take things for granted. For me, I try to be aware of this because I want something and then when I get it, I do take it for granted and I forget the fact that there was a time where I wanted it. I think we talked about this in one episode briefly.

An exception to that is something like my car. I remember how bad I wanted my Model 3 and I never take that car for granted. I swear every single time, I drive it, every time I look at it, I feel so grateful for it. Every day it’s appreciated. Yet there are some things that all dream about getting, I’ll have them and then it’s like, “This is nice to have.” It’s not the same feeling that it was before I got it. Whether it could be a relationship like you mentioned or even on the lowest level. We could relate this to food. When you see a food, you want to try and then you try it and now it’s suddenly no longer exciting anymore now that you’ve experienced it.

The first one that comes immediately to mind is I remember seeing Beyond Meat launch at KFC back in Atlanta. They were only available in Atlanta with their Beyond Meat Fried Chicken and then they came to Los Angeles. I was excited about it and I tried it and now it’s like, “Cool.” Another one that will hit close to home for the two of us is how we used to be obsessed with Boba Guys when we only got it in New York City and now that they’re available in Los Angeles, I never even think about them.

If we attach too much meaning to getting the thing we desire, that's when we can set traps for ourselves. Click To Tweet

It’s almost like if there’s a difficulty in obtaining something or it’s almost like the challenge, journey, meditating on and maybe obsessing a little bit over the desire for something can sometimes be more appealing, more interesting, and more emotionally deep than getting the thing. You talk about the normalization of our present situation. You brilliantly touched upon this, in the sense that we dream about something we pine over, maybe obsess over it and then we finally get it, the whole damn thing starts all over again. It brings up an important question, which is, “At the deepest motivation of human activity, what role does desire and wanting play?”

I believe I mentioned this in a previous episode and by no means are these the only two schools of thought around the subject of human desire and wanting things. I want to talk about materialism and capitalism, and there are many branches I want to discuss in this episode, but what’s coming up for me is in the school of New Age thought, you have Abraham Hicks. For the readers, who may not know what Abraham Hicks is, it’s a woman named Esther Hicks who does a channeling, which I suppose the best way to describe a channeling is opening one’s consciousness to being a mouthpiece to non-physical entities. That’s probably the most judicious way I can describe this. She channels an entity or a series of non-physical beings called Abraham.

One of her things is that desire is a good thing for humanity because it moves us forward. Contrast what I want and what I don’t want, getting what I want and also getting what I don’t want, births new desire in us, which moves us forward. We constantly have desires. The flip side is a traditional Zen Buddhist approach, which is that desire, wanting and having unmet expectations conjoined to that desire is one of the intrinsic roots of human suffering. On the one hand, you have a New Age thought leader like Abraham Hicks said, “No, desire is what moves us forward as a species. It’s intrinsic to our growth and evolution,” and then you have the Buddha who said, “Desire is one of the roots of human suffering.” It’s very fascinating to think about how diametrically opposed those are.

For me, the challenge that I’ve had Whitney and what I’m still working through is feeling that I have a desire for things, situations, experiences, or people, but not being so attached to getting it and feeling like the getting of it will define me. If I get the orange McLaren, a nice house, a certain status, a position in society, a certain amount of money, or a certain amount of influence that once I get that, I’ll feel more complete, happier, contented, have more influence and power in life. I don’t think that desire is necessarily bad. I think that if we attach too much meaning, self-worth, and self-identity to getting the thing we desire, that’s when we can set traps for ourselves and that’s where things get tricky in my opinion.

It’s sometimes even helpful from a Buddhist perspective to notice what it feels like to want something and be satisfied with that on its own because as I said, sometimes we get what we want and then when it’s no longer exciting, then we can reflect on that and realize that it was almost more exciting to want it than to have it.

I feel like this is a horrible old cliché, but for every person that’s desiring someone else sexually, there’s someone else that’s sick of having sex with them. It’s harsh, but you get adjusted to things. It’s a thing that you wanted, you have it, and then you have it for a long-time and then it’s almost this process of seeing it with new eyes. I’ve made a point of trying to practice this in my life. This thing instead of changing the circumstances, the things, people, outward things in my life, looking at it with new eyes of appreciation and gratitude.

Sometimes, in human relationships, we get into a mode of taking someone for granted, whether that’s our significant other, parent, best friends, whoever it is or whatever it is. It’s like, “There’s old so-and-so.” I think that we can anchor ourselves and remember what it’s like to feel those feelings of desire, excitement, freshness and make an effort to connect with those feelings. Those feelings aren’t outside of ourselves, those feelings are within us. There were this interesting practice and a bit tangential but also related. When I was feeling heartbroken many years ago and I was pining for this person, I’m like, “I hope we get back together. I’m sad.” You were there for me around this time. I realized that I was creating an illusion and perpetuating an illusion in my mind of “This person is the source of my love.”

That excitement, desire, sexual connection, the love I had for this person was not there if they weren’t there. I realized that every time that I’ve been in love, I felt that excitement, passion, connection, that connection was coming from within me. I started doing this thing that I call The Golden Heart Meditation. I taught it in my course with the Good Mood Food course with Commune. I realized that I could generate those feelings of love, connection, appreciation, and passion within my own heart, without fixating on someone else to provide that for me. That was that practice has been a game-changer for me because it doesn’t mean that I don’t want someone, desire them, desire buying a nice house or having nice things in my life. The excitement, passion, connection, emotion is not dependent on that thing or that person. That was a quantum shift for me.

I feel like that’s such a helpful thing to share because we can get into that place. I mentioned this in one episode with a guest. I shared how one of the greatest things that I was taught growing up was from my dad in that when I said to him, “You made me feel this way.” He taught me that he didn’t make me feel that way. I was feeling that way as a reaction to him. It was this great lesson, similar to what you’re saying about how we can often externalize so much of our experience.

That takes away a lot of our personal power as well as our personal piece because if we are basing our experience and our emotions on how other people treat us, what other people do, first of all, we have very little control over anything outside of ourselves. We barely have control over ourselves as it is. To think that somebody is doing something to us, somebody is doing something that’s making us feel a certain way, is not usually if ever true. It is like you’re saying that those feelings are coming from within.

MGU 121 | Human Desire

Human Desire: Obsessing over the desire for something can sometimes be more appealing than actually getting it.

 

That’s such an important distinction to make, because whether it’s a relationship romantically, a business relationship, a friend relationship, family member, all of these different dynamics that we have with other human beings, we can base a lot of our experience and our emotions on what they’re doing. If we do that all the time, it’s going to feel frustrating because we can’t control them. We can’t even predict people, even if we think we know them very well. It puts us in this constant state of uncertainty, fear, tension, and stress.

Even the people that we feel like we can most depend on, those people could change any time and nothing is ever certain. As scary as it might sound, it’s virtually impossible to predict anything in life. Many of us are realizing this. For those who have been married, for example, which is not something Jason and I can relate to, because neither one of us had been married, but I’ll hear stories about people that thought they were going to be in the relationship for the rest of their lives and aren’t anymore. They never saw it coming for better or for worse. Maybe, it was a good thing for them. They thought that that’s the way it would be. If they based their whole sense of identity, their whole lifestyle, and this idea of the rest of my life being a certain way, it puts you in a place where maybe you’re not as prepared or maybe you are basing so much of yourself on something that’s simply not certain. If you get thrown off course, who are you anymore and how do you feel about things?

It’s a slippery slope because, on the one hand, we’re a bit addicted to the illusion of certainty because we associate it with safety. We associate it with the predictability of being able to adapt and predict potential threats. Maybe that in some ways, a level of codependency and defining ourselves through our relationships, work, status, title, income and things is very comfortable. It’s very easy to look at the money we make, the status we hold, the relationships we’re in, our zip code, our cars and everything that’s externalized you’re talking about and use that as a framework to define who we are.

I feel like human society, at least in the Industrial Age, has certainly made a framework that is difficult to think outside of. It’s challenging. We talked about this early in the show in the Labels and Titles episode, way back at the beginning. If we strip away the idea and I feel the illusion that all of these external things make us who we are, then who are we? It’s a frightening question for some people that sit with, I get frightened by it sometimes. If I take away the titles and the things that I think I am, the bank account, relationship, status, things and my story. This is all part of our story. Who am I without my story? That’s not at the core of my being as a human being on this planet and it’s not that those things are bad. One of my favorite phrases that my mentor Michael is passed down to me is the Sufi saying, “To be in the world, but not of it.” That I can exist as a human being on the planet and not be anchored to whatever it is.

“I’m a BMW driver. I live in Beverly Hills. I make multiple six figures. I’m a doctor. I’m this and that.” Not that those things are bad, but when we start to believe that that is who we are. That who we’re with, what we make, how we earn, if we believe that’s intrinsically who we are, there are many deeper levels to go into it. I’m not saying that we don’t leverage our culture, race, identity, heritage, gender or whatever we’ve chosen. If we think that that’s the only picture of what and who we are, we’re missing a massive part of our beingness, development and evolution as humans on this planet. There are many layers way beyond those external things. It’s sometimes exciting, sometimes frightening, sometimes fucking challenging and sometimes breathtaking to have moments where we realized that all of that stuff is not who we are. To me, that’s one intrinsic part of experiencing the liberation from the material world.

It’s a practice that we can be very intentional about or have to be intentional about because it’s easy to get pulled into that state of unconsciousness where we’re going through the motions or going back to our old ways of thinking, which might not be bad for us, but they can make it more challenging. I feel more at peace when I feel less attached. That’s hard, because we’ve talked about in many episodes, being more present and letting go of expectations and trying not to have expectations, but these are mental habits. These are things that we’ve been encouraged to do and naturally do. This is one of the reasons that meditation is key because it’s basically mental training. It’s training you to be in the present moment and it’s training you to notice things without reacting to them, which I think is key.

I feel more inclined to want to meditate when I think of it as training versus relaxing, peaceful or something like that. If I look at it as like, I am encouraging my brain to not cling to anything and to sit in this present moment and notice as opposed to try to control and over-analyze like I have a tendency to do. It’s also interesting to give some examples. I don’t remember unless you were this conversation that we had even was going or what we were talking about specifically. We are talking about how I’ve been noticing my discomfort with uncertainty as I get ready for my road trip.

We will be doing an episode summarizing the experience, what I learned and how I felt. It’s another reason for you, the readers to subscribe because that episode will be out. I’m looking forward to seeing the contrast between where I’m at now, mentally versus where I’ll be after the trip if there’s any major difference. One lesson I’m finding through this experience is that unattachment and noticing where my desires are. To get into the specifics, I feel this huge urge to plan. This is a tendency of mine where I try to think of everything that I need, anything that I will need, and anything that I’ll want. I’m trying to anticipate all of these things in the future. Part of that comes out of my discomfort with forgetting something. Even saying that phrase brings up tension in my body.

I get very uncomfortable when I forget something. I try so hard to remember things, but pretty much every day I have one of those experiences where I forget something, whether it’s a piece of information, I forget to do something, or I forget to bring something with me. Most times that’s okay because they’re minute. They don’t impact me that much. When it comes to traveling, I get very nervous about forgetting something because there’s this consequence, especially for a long trip like I’m taking where if I forget something, I’m either going to have to buy it and I don’t like buying something that I already have. That drives me nuts. It feels wasteful financially and resource-wise. There’s this feeling of, “If I can’t buy it, now I can’t have it.”

We are a bit addicted to the illusion of certainty because we associate it with safety. Click To Tweet

Talk about unattachment. There are things that I’m not going to be able to bring on this trip. For example, I’m already mourning the fact that I won’t be bringing my Essentia body pillow. As a little side note, I love this pillow so much. It’s from this wonderful company, Essentia. It’s an organic latex memory foam material. It’s a huge 30-pound pillow and it’s changed my sleeping experience. I have considered bringing it on the trip. To be honest, I might end up taking it, but it takes up so much room. It’s like the size of a small human being. I was thinking, “I can’t believe I’m going to be sleeping without this for a couple of months.”

It’s a bit tricky unless you were going to be touring in a van on this road trip because it looks like the giant tentacles from a sea creature. It is a heavy, gigantic body pillow, yet to Whitney’s point, I have tested it out and it is ridiculously comfortable. I’m trying to imagine in your car when you were describing it how you’re going to fit it in there?

I already tested this out as a side note and this might show up in the videos I’m making about the trip. I want to do one long video, but I might end up doing a bunch of small videos. I already recorded some footage of me testing out the pillow in the back of my Tesla and I have the smallest Tesla they make. There’s not a lot of room. If I were traveling by myself super minimally, I think I could bring it, but I am already feeling tension. Speaking of planning, I’m feeling nervous about having enough room in the car. It’s been interesting because there’s been a lot of stress in my mind. I’m trying to manage my stress and not worry.

Part of the way that I cope with stress and worry is to plan because it feels safe to me when I can anticipate everything I’m going to need and want. Notice the things that I want to and whether or not they’re pure wants, desires, or are they things I need. Part of the lesson here is noticing like, “Do you need what you want or do you want it?” A lot of us get confused with that, saying like, “I want this,” or some of us say, “I need this.” Even when it is just a want, it’s not an actual need. It’s not essential for us. Few things are essential to us too, which is an interesting element when we talk about desire and wants. That’s been something that I’ve noticed coming up for me too, is all of the things that I want to take with me, but I have to, because of the small car that I’m driving and it’s not that small. It’s not like a van or SUV, it’s is a small compact Sedan. Is the Model 3 is technically compact or no?

It is technically in the midsize Sedan category, competing with other models, such as the Honda Accord, Toyota Camry and Mazda 6. It’s technically midsize, but the interior space, since you don’t have a hatchback, you have a traditional trunk. I love hatchbacks and I’ve had many hatchbacks in my life because they’re like small SUVs. Whereas you have the Model 3 or the Model Y that came out is a hatchback. It’s a bit bigger, but it has that hatchback functionality. If you had a hatch, you’d probably be able to stuff a lot more things in there.

I wish that my car was a hatchback too. I have definitely contemplating one day getting the Model Y. I’ve never tested one out because they’re so new. One day I will upgrade because it’s slightly bigger and the hatchback, but that’s a whole another story. Going back to my main point here is that noticing this feeling of uncertainty I have like, “Can I cope with my uncertainty by planning and by anticipating?” That to me feels simultaneously good and simultaneously stressful. I have been trying to get a lot of sleep, but I haven’t been sleeping that much because I still keep staying up late and getting up early to try to get too much done, then I’m tired throughout the day. My energy is not as strong and I ended up pausing or needing to pause.

Now, I’m worried that I’m not getting enough sleep before I drive cross country. This is also interesting and I’m curious about your take on this because as we’ve also talked about in at least one episode, I am such a big planner. For the joy of it, plus perhaps the coping side of it or how I manage my stress, planning makes me feel safe, comfortable and protected. A lot of people get very stressed out when it comes to planning. Is that the reason that you don’t quite plan or organize as much as I do? When it comes to travel and work, you’re more off the cuff and I’m curious why? Does that feel more comfortable to you?

It does feel more natural. This mentality I have of feeling more comfortable in an improvisational make it up as I go state, it colors many aspects of my life. I’ve always felt so much more comfortable and at ease being on a stage, whether that’s doing improv comedy or when I get hired to do a commercial or any kind of acting gig on the side that I’ve always had more of a challenge with scripted bits. On the TV series that I had, How To Live To 100 or the commercials I’ve done, it’s not that I can’t memorize scripts, but I always feel more natural, more comfortable and more in my power when I’m making it up. Aside from acting, entertainment and TV, I do think that filters and colors other aspects.

We’re talking about a road trip and planning, I feel like when you throw me into the fire, I cannot just survive, but thrive in those situations. It’s not comforting that I feel more powerful and have a higher level of confidence when it’s like, “Make it up. Let’s go, drop of a hat.” I know that terrifies some people, but the idea of getting up in front of a big crowd, speaking extemporaneously, having no script and having no talking points feels visceral, exciting, confident and powerful. If you’re like, “Here’s a script and you got to go through all these fifteen points.” I’m like, “Let me look at the points and then let me do it my way.”

Maybe it’s part of me being rebellious or wanting to be in my lane where I know I feel more powerful and confident, but I think one of the reasons that you and I complement each other as friends and business partners, but also at points have clashed is because you’re very much in that planning structure. I’m like, “We’ll make it up as we go,” and you’re like, “No, we need to plan.” I’m like, “I don’t need to plan. I’m going to make it up.” It’s an interesting contrast that we’re not on opposite sides of the coin, but that you and I feel comfortable, confident and safe in very different ways.

MGU 121 | Human Desire

Human Desire: Externalizing your experience takes away a lot of your personal power and your personal peace.

 

It’s an interesting thing to observe about ourselves and where these tendencies come from. It also goes back to this idea of, “That’s the way I am. That’s the way life is.” A lot of the times it’s the way that we are as individuals. That’s not the way all of life and everybody is. We’re also, in some of these ways adaptable. I don’t have to be that way. In fact, the more that I notice my tendencies, the more that I can consider how much they’re serving me. With this trip, in particular, it’s going to require me to be flexible and to deal with a certain amount of uncertainty. The tie in also to this initial question of dealing with the desire of wanting something that we can’t have.

There are some things that are happening as I plan this trip that are unknown. There are things that I want and that are a little bit out of my control. For example, I’m working and had approached a number of brands to see if they would like to be part of the coverage that I’m doing on this trip. As I shared, we’re going to be doing an episode on this. I’m working on a video. I’ll be doing social media as we’ve talked about and there are a lot of opportunities for brands to get involved. I have had incredible support from brands that are sending me products. I can’t wait to tell the readers all about them. Jason doesn’t even know the extent of which I’ve received in these incredible foods, accessories, body care and stuff that are going to support this long journey I’m going on to get across the country and enjoy it along the way.

There are some brands that have said no, some brands that haven’t responded at all and some brands that have been in between had have said like, “Maybe, kind of. We’ll see.” Does that trigger something for me? It’s this anxious feeling of, “I want to know the answer, but I hope you say yes.” I want this. They haven’t said I can’t have it, but they have said, “I might be able to get it. I might not be able to.” That almost to me is worse. It’s like relationships too. Even though it’s sad and disappointing when somebody we want to date, somebody we want to be with romantically, either rejects us or breaks up with us or something where they turn us down, we’re done or we never started. That’s tough, but there is some closure when it feels that definite. It’s harder when it’s that in-between period or that gray area. As much as I love gray areas in general, there are certain gray areas that are tough. Don’t you think that’s challenging with relationships when maybe somebody wants to be with you or maybe they don’t?

It’s stressful for sure. Relationships as a metaphor for all of life. Looking at our relationships with ourselves and others as a teacher and a way to examine how we are relating to other aspects of our life. We talked about this probably in the Conspiracy Theory episode, the one where people got all their knickers in a bunch over that episode. What am I? A gentleman from 1840 like, “If you want to get your knickers in a bunch, read our Conspiracy Theory episode.” We talked about how uncomfortable certain people are in not knowing. If I have a definite answer and a yes or no, and an explanation for things, then I’ll feel okay moving forward with my life.

Sometimes life will not give you closure or an answer. Sometimes there are questions that will never be answered. If I reflect on some romantic relationships and also, business interactions and friendships, there are questions I’ll never have answers to. Can I be okay with that? Can I sleep at night and move forward with my life, knowing that I will never know the “truth” behind a certain situation? I have my perspective, beliefs, interpretations of what may or may not happen, but I think that some people are radically uncomfortable not having a framework of, “This is exactly what’s happening and what’s going on.” It stresses people out.

I do think that people’s desire to explain things and what may or may not be happening offers them some modicum of certainty and maybe an escape hatch from the anxiety and stress. It’s not that I’m trying to escape anxiety and stress, but I’m not pushing it away. Part of the things that we teach on this show is if you’re feeling uncomfortable, anxious, stressed, and uncertain, don’t mask it, don’t deny it and don’t push it away. Allow yourself to feel it and use things to help mitigate it, but don’t deny that it’s happening.

Paying attention to stress, I would say. When I feel stressed out, if I pause and reflect on why I’m feeling stressed, I can learn so much and feel a sense of being a little bit more in control, even if I’m not in control. A great example is when I feel the desire to control things, it’s probably because I’m feeling stressed out. That coping mechanism, that desire to control so that I feel more relaxed. In a way, it’s counterproductive because the act of controlling, planning and organizing take so much work and that creates tension. As I mentioned, a big concern of mine gearing up for this trip is getting enough restful sleep. This is a great time to mention a very helpful thing that I’ve using to prepare as part of my planning, my routine and organizing.

I’ve been trying to take supplements to support me. Probiotics are key before, during and after travel because our digestion can get screwy. Especially for me, I’m going to be traveling through different time zones and that can mess up your rhythm and a lot of ways. That can affect your sleep. The thing that I am going to be taking every night leading up to my trip and taking during my trip, especially since I’m going to be camping in my car and probably feeling a little on edge about that experience at first. Camping in general is very uncertain to me. I’m sure there’s going to be some challenges to that, or maybe it will be easier.

The big thing for me is taking magnesium. As we’ve talked about in some episodes, we have a sponsor who makes an incredible magnesium formulation called Magnesium Breakthrough. This is BiOptimizers. We love their products. I’m also taking their probiotics and enzymes. They sent us each a box of their products and I felt it was perfect timing because I’ve been able to experiment with them a lot. We’ve talked about Gluten Guardian, all of this stuff, but that Magnesium Breakthrough is great because it’s designed to help reduce stress level and help us feel more relaxed and at peace, plus fall asleep faster and sleep deeper, which is what I need. That act of reducing stress and sleeping better boosts your immune system, which is another big concern of mine because I’m traveling during COVID. I want to make sure that my body is in tiptop shape.

Sometimes, life will not give you a closure. Click To Tweet

It’s been a Godsend. I started taking it and slept incredibly well the very first night I took it and I woke up feeling amazing even on less sleep than I would normally get. The fact that I didn’t wake up in the middle of the night feeling stressed about something or wake up feeling exhausted was huge. I’m very grateful to be taking it a lot. You’ve been wanting to take it, Jason. You haven’t tried it yet. I’m going to be giving you some so that you can experience that yourself. Maybe you can talk about how magnesium has been amazing for you and what you’ll be taking it for.

The big thing beyond what you mentioned in terms of sleep and stress reduction, magnesium helps to reduce cortisol. Cortisol is one of the biggest stress hormones that gets released when we get into a fight or flight mode. When our central nervous system gets activated and there’s no actual real threat, it’s a mental threat. We hear all the time that there are no saber-toothed tigers in the wild anymore. It’s all saber-toothed tigers of the mind. Whenever we get into an anxious reaction of anticipating a negative future outcome, the aspects of ourselves and the same stress hormones as if we were facing an immediate physical threat, namely cortisol and adrenaline get activated.

Magnesium specifically helps to reduce cortisol levels and what does that do? It helps our immune system. It helps us sleep. My whole thing too with magnesium and this is a side benefit. There’s no such thing as TMI on our show. I have noticed that that magnesium for me before bed, specifically taking it as the last thing I consumed before I go to sleep. Not only does it help me rest better, but the next morning I tend to have pretty fantastic morning wood, for all the guys and the gals up there who are interested in having or receiving better erections.

I thought for sure, you were going to mention that magnesium helps with your digestion and then you go to the bathroom very easily, which is also another big perk. I did not think you’re going to talk about morning wood.

Many years ago, shout out to our friend Jay Denman. I was having sleep issues on and off for the last decade with work stress and mental health issues that I was having. First of all, magnesium has been a back-pocket thing for me for about a decade. I remember when I was talking to our friend, Jay, who introduced me to it, he was like, “Magnesium is like the master mineral that conducts 300 reactions in your body. Detoxification helps you metabolize fat, energy and digestion. A side benefit that doesn’t get talked a lot about is blood flow.” He winked at me and like, “Get it? Blood flow. When you start taking magnesium, you’re going to have teenage level erections the next morning.” As a person who is approaching my mid-40s, that’s been an added side benefit of taking magnesium. For me though, the original reason was helping with sleep, reducing inflammation, reducing cortisol. The erection thing is a bonus.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard that before. I’ve done a lot of detail on magnesium. We talked about in another episode that there are many different forms of magnesium and Magnesium Breakthrough from BiOptimizers is one of the most, if not the most, complete magnesium supplement blend available because it’s combining seven forms of it. Each form of magnesium has different purposes. I’m curious which form could impact that, whether it’s a female reader that has a man in their life that could benefit from this or a male reader, these are good things to know. Thank you for bringing that up.

I also want to talk a little bit about something super unique about this formula from BiOptimizers. It has trace amounts in this formula, the Magnesium Breakthrough of monatomic magnesium. What makes that cool and beyond sounding cool is that it helps to make all the other forms of the magnesium more bioavailable. Bioavailability means that your body can utilize it for all of these functional purposes. That’s another unique part of this. I’ve never, ever seen another formula that has amounts of monatomic magnesium.

For the readers, we have a cool promotion going on with BiOptimizers. We will talk about that at the end of the episode, but we also want to give a little tidbit here in the middle that we have a 10% code that you can use when you go to their website. If you want to check out Magnesium Breakthrough, the special promotion can be accessed at BiOptimizers.com/wellevatr. You can get an additional 10% off from the normal package price when you use the coupon code WELLEVATR10. Here’s the cool thing too, if you don’t like it, the guys who make these amazing products that Whitney and I loving, they’re so confident that you’re going to love it that you get your money back if it doesn’t work for you, but we’re pretty damn confident it’s going to work.

We’ve tried a lot of magnesium and a lot of supplements in general. We also would never recommend anything that we don’t use and we don’t believe in it. We’re hoping that it works well for you. I’ve also noticed over the years that what works for me doesn’t work for everybody else. Just like I was saying about managing my stress, my coping mechanisms and all of these things. It’s an ongoing journey. One of the biggest lessons I continue to learn is to try things and be open-minded about them. It’s nice when you can try something and have some backup plan or a guarantee in place. That’s saying like, “You can try it.” That is leading me to another element of this too, is I believe in another episode. We talk about so much on the show after doing over 100 episodes, we have so many references to past episodes.

One thing for me is I feel most comfortable and I don’t need this, but this is something I appreciate is when I have the permission to make a mistake, to try something and either figure out that it’s not for me or figure out that I’m not good at it, or realize that I didn’t do it right. I feel like right and wrong are harsh. Let’s say in this context, a lot of us view life through doing things right or wrong. When we make a mistake, which in that sense, doing something wrong, then having that opportunity to redo something and get it right is amazing. There are times when I feel like that’s not in place, and maybe that’s why I get that desire to control or predict, plan and organize is because that gives me the greatest chance of not screwing things up.

MGU 121 | Human Desire

Human Desire: Our relationships with ourselves and others are indicative of how we are relating to other aspects of our life.

 

I was reflecting a lot on this while listening to the audiobook, The Pursuit of Perfect. It’s a wonderful book. I’ve been listening to the audiobook and reading it, not simultaneously. I alternate between the two of them. One of the points that hit home for me in that book was how perfectionists tend to control and try to be perfect all the time because they’re terrified of being wrong. That’s one of the reasons that I have that tendency. I’m afraid of getting in trouble, being shamed, and not getting another chance.

That ties into this idea of forgetting. It’s the consequences that make me uncomfortable. I’m curious for you too, Jason, given that you don’t have that tendency, do you not worry about consequences and embarrassing yourself? Clearly, you don’t care about embarrassing yourself. You do a lot of things that some people would never do. You’re very extroverted, bold and courageous in a lot of ways. Correct me if I’m wrong, it doesn’t seem like that’s a concern for you, but I’m curious, do you worry about consequences? If you don’t worry about consequences, what do you worry about in this context of planning, anticipating or any of that?

First of all, thank you for your acknowledgement of seeing me and praising me as a courageous and bold human being who is not easily embarrassed. I appreciate that and I feel that. The challenge that I have in this context, it’s a little bit nonlinear because it’s related, but also involves other aspects of life. The thing that I struggle with is living up to the idea of what I think I ought to be doing or who I ought to be and feeling like I’m not there yet. It’s not by virtue of what my mom or my family told me. It’s not because people are saying, “You’re not living up to your potential. You haven’t done enough yet. You need to be more perfect. You need to plan better.” It’s all in my own head.

I’ve sat with this a lot of, “Where’s that coming from?” I don’t think it’s an externalized voice necessarily. I do think that I’ve bought into the idea and this is interesting because our episode about the Enneagram we’ll cover more of this, but realizing that I feel most aligned with being an Enneagram 4. There’s an aspect of that personality profile that talks about how Enneagram 4s feel like they are special, that they are at a higher level of creative attunement or creative receptivity and that they, therefore, have extremely high expectations of themselves. My entire life, I’ve battled extremely high expectations of myself to the point that I can be very cruel to myself, that I can demand a lot from myself because I think somehow that there is this potential that I’m never quite living up to.

That is a painful struggle for me is I still feel that way. I still feel that creatively, artistically, what I’ve created and everyone’s like, “You’ve created so much. You have this YouTube channel, TV show and book.” People always point to the external stuff, but somehow, it’s not about perfectionism to me as much as it is potential. What the hell does that even mean? I don’t know that I’ve even defined that for myself. It’s almost like there’s this idea that I haven’t done enough or I haven’t succeeded enough.

It goes back to this idea of not-enoughness at the core of it. I don’t know that perfectionism necessarily plays into that as much as it does for you. For me, it’s more of like, there’s some ideal of potential creatively that I think in my mind I haven’t lived up to. I want to understand it more because it still causes me a lot of pain of this idea of like, “You haven’t done enough. You haven’t achieved your level of greatness.” Sometimes I’m like, “What the fuck does that even mean?” I don’t know that I’ve even defined what this ideal of potential and greatness even is for myself.

For me, that’s also part of it as well. Sometimes I can get so caught up in all the things that I’m able to do with the possibilities and I want to try to get them all. That’s where the unattachment comes in, but yet I know that I haven’t fully learned how to be unattached because there are some things I want to happen for my trip and I don’t know if they’re going to happen or not, but I tried to make them happen. I think that’s where I need to focus and perhaps for you as well. This is also something we’ve talked about before. It’s the journey, not the destination.

Maybe that is part of the big answer here because sometimes it’s what we want that feeling of like “I can’t have it that’s why I want it badly. I want something,” and then you get it, and then onto the next thing. That’s the same idea as it is with products and anything material versus achievements where the journey is satisfying or can be very satisfying, but a lot of us focused on getting it versus the process of getting it. When we do get something, it’s like, “Great. Next.” That is a perfectionist mentality. That idea that it’s never enough, it’s never good enough, you’re never satisfied, you’re always after the next thing. In that book, there’s an example of a man who ended his life because he was never satisfied. He never felt good enough. He was always striving.

It’s a real story. He got an award after he passed and somebody asked, I believe it was his wife, I could be wrong. You’ll have to read the book to find out. It’s a good book. Somebody asked his wife, “Would he have ended his life if he knew he was going to get that award or if he had been awarded this before?” Her response was, “Maybe, but he had gotten a lot of awards previously.” Her point was, “This award would have been great and he would have been grateful for it, but he still might’ve felt unsatisfied. He still would be focused on the next award, the next achievement.”

Don’t just aim for the stops. Be present to experience the greatness of the journey itself. Click To Tweet

Coming back to my trip, which is top of mind, this trip is going to go by so fast. I’ve been spending all this time feeling stressed and wanting to force it to be something, like, “How can I make this the best trip ever?” That puts so much pressure on things too. That can happen in relationships. It’s like, “How can I set myself up for success so that I can be in the best relationship, have the best career, have the best outcome?” We might start focusing on the stress and less about the joy of that planning process, the joy of the creation process. Being in that moment, I’m going to have to remind myself every single day of this trip to be present and not to be focused on the next stop, next thing and getting through it.

Another concern of mine is I’m driving somewhere. There is a destination for me, but the huge reason that I’m doing this trip is that journey to that destination. I could get hyper-focused on where tomorrow stop is, “What are we doing for lunch and dinner? How are we going to sleep?” I can start to obsess over those details. That could take me out of the moment and the joy and as you and I experienced when we went on our road trip, it goes by so fast. We spend all this time remembering how great it was versus being in the present moment, experiencing the greatness.

I don’t believe that life is punitive, “We’re going to bring it some more Jasonisms in this episode.” I love quotes and always love sharing quotes that have affected me. The Albert Einstein quote of, “One of the most important decisions you’ll ever make is whether you live in a friendly universe or a malevolent one.” I don’t believe that the universe is cruel in what I’m about to say. I think that there seems to be an accelerated energy of shattering people’s illusions and expectations are illusions. Expectations are not real, thinking you know what’s going to happen and you can plan for it. I don’t mean this in a ruthless or punitive way, but it feels to me that life, the universe, God, spirit and all that, those expectations are cute. I’m going to shatter them for you over and over.

We don’t know what’s going to happen with the stock market, our jobs, our relationships or our health. I’ve been dealing with some difficult health challenges which we’ve alluded to. We don’t know. This desire for certainty, this desire of, “I know what’s going to happen. I know the truth.” I think life is like, “You don’t know shit.” I don’t mean that in a punitive or aggressive way. I think life is trying to wake us the fuck up. To say with this whole thing of you being present, I think it’s beautiful that you have that intention because to think even with all your planning, there are going to be things that come up on this trip that you did not anticipate and you did not expect. That’s okay because we have to allow life to be life. We have to allow for the chaos, uncertainty, growth, evolution and beautiful surprises. There’s going to be wonderful surprises along the way on your trip that you also didn’t expect. We need to let life be life and stop trying to control it and we can control it. I feel this energy of shattering our illusions and showing how little control we have is going to continue to accelerate and gain even more force. That’s my opinion.

We could go on and on about this subject matter. As usual, we certainly ended up at a place that I did not expect. I suppose that’s perfect because that’s what we’re talking about here. Even this desire of wanting an episode to go a certain way or thinking it might be planning it, all of that. The process of starting these episodes without attachment to where they go as a conversation has been freeing for me. It’s lovely to see that they all work out, even if we don’t know what we’re going to talk about. Sometimes, we learn lessons that we never would have anticipated until they come out of our mouths.

It’s trusting life. I feel like you and I do this show is almost inviting uncertainty because we don’t know where it’s going to go or end up and not these “solo episodes” with you and me but also our guests. We go in dear reader, whether it’s your 120 first episode or your first episode, we don’t do a lot of planning for these. We have a general true north of our compass of where we want to direct the episode, but the intricate details, we don’t. Every single time you read an episode, we are literally making it up as we go with a sponsor like BiOptimizers and some of the great brands that support us. For the most part, the narrative and the direction of what we’re doing, we don’t know.

I feel like in a way, you and I taking on this show are also training us to be more comfortable and confident with making it up as we go. I feel like it’s a microcosm for life. Another Jasonism I want to throw in there because I’ve been waiting to drop this one from the Great Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu, one of my favorites of his is, “Act without expectation,” but there’s another one that I love which is, “Mastering others is strength, mastering yourself is true power.” I wanted to say that in reference to when we were talking about how we don’t have control over the external circumstances of life. We don’t have control over how people perceive us, opinion of us and reactions to us. We ultimately don’t have control over a lot of external things in our life, but having self-mastery in terms of being radically experimental with new approaches in life, honoring our personal evolution and growth, being able to pivot and improvise are aspects of self-mastery.

This internal world through mindfulness, meditation, health, introspection relationship is honing our sense of self. Ultimately, the cornerstone of life is self-awareness and mastering ourselves. There’s no endpoint to that. It’s like, “I’ve mastered myself now. I have full awareness.” To me, that’s a journey that never ends. That can be exciting, beautiful and special, or for some people can be absolutely terrifying. This is going to be a reach into the annals of music history for a second, but I want to bring it up because this aspect of desire, wanting things and exploring our desire. There was a band in the ‘90s called The The. Have you ever heard of them?

Not by name, but maybe if you sing me a song of theirs?

A little bit of music for the music geeks out there, Johnny Marr, the guitarist from The Smiths, people probably know The Smiths and who Morrissey is. After The Smiths disbanded, Johnny Marr went on to be in a bunch of different bands and one of the bands he was in for a short period of time was The The. They’re a British band. They were around and making a lot of music in the ‘80s and ‘90s. There’s a bit of a song that I want to read the lyrics because I think it speaks to this nature of unexamined desire and sometimes how desire can lead us to chasing things over and over again. The song is True Happiness This Way Lies. When you were talking about the nature of desire, I was like, “There’s this song? What was that song?” It’s a light bulb in my head like, “That song.”

MGU 121 | Human Desire

Human Desire: If you are focusing too much on the perfect goal, you’re depriving yourself of the joy of the creation process.

 

I haven’t listened to this song in years, but the lyrics to the song always stuck with me. It says, “Have you ever wanted something so badly that it possessed your body and your soul? Through the night and through the day until you finally get it and then you realize it wasn’t what you wanted after all. Then those self, same sickly, little thoughts go and attach themselves to something or somebody new and then the whole goddamn thing starts all over again.” Isn’t that true? How many times have we wanted something and we get it more like, “I didn’t want this,” and then observing how that feeling keeps chasing other things over and over. If we don’t take it, it’s like a wild beast with a mind of its own.

It almost sounds like a very mature Dr. Seuss.

The songwriting, reader, if you’ve never listened to The The music, and this goes for you to Whitney, this particular album that this song is from is phenomenal. It’s one of my favorite albums of the ‘90s. I’d put it in my top ten albums of the ‘90s. With that, are we approaching the time for shout outs and FAQs?

Yes, we are.

Shout out to the Honeybadger video. In case anybody has forgotten about the classic Honeybadger video, that is a reference to that wonderful artful piece of YouTube lore. Brand shout outs, Whitney and I are blessed to get samples of things all the time. We both had the great pleasure of experiencing a plant-based boxed mac and cheese called Howl. In terms of boxed mac and cheese because I’ve tried some of the other brands that have been floating around in the industry for a while. For me, in my palette, this was like extra gourmet, especially the spicy Chipotle the version. In Howl, you get a box of mac and cheese and you get the sauce packet. You get the dry macaroni and you make it like you would any traditional mac and cheese. The sauce though, I thought, especially this spicy Chipotle was so good. Sometimes when I have other boxed vegan mac and cheese, I feel like I have to add stuff to it. This one I felt legit. It was delicious right out of the box.

They don’t sell it with gluten-free pasta. It comes with full-on gluten of macaroni dried pasta in the box. I tried a little bit of it. Thanks to our sponsor BiOptimizers, they have that Gluten Guardian supplement that is a digestive enzyme. If you want to eat gluten but are sensitive to it like we are. I took some of the Gluten Guardian and then had some of the mac and cheese right out of the box and it was fantastic. I also mixed it with Banza pasta, which is one of the gluten-free pastas I enjoy. It’s made from chickpeas and a few other ingredients, and that was a delicious combination. The Chipotle was my favorite, but I will say, the classic cashew sauce tasted great with black truffle powder sprinkled on top of it. I bet you, if you haven’t tried this already, it’d be phenomenal with trough hot sauce because I added hot sauce and truffle powder to it. Did you try it with Truff?

I did try it with Truff and I wanted to say it, it doesn’t need it because I feel the sauce is wonderfully crafted. One of the things about Howl is that they are a chef-driven product. Meaning they have professional chefs helping to develop the flavors, but this truffle hot sauce is one of the most ridiculous hot sauces. I have to go on record saying that I believe that I’m a bit of a hot sauce connoisseur. I love hot sauces. I’m obsessed with them and a little bit of Truff on top takes it to that next level.

One other brand I want to shout out is someone I’ve been wanting to tell you about because they sent me such a generous amount of products that I will have to share it with you. I’m going to force you unless you don’t want it, but I think you’re going to want this. A brand that is a blast from the past because I first tried their products back in 2013 when they were developing them is North Coast Organics. I am a huge fan of Schmidt’s deodorant, but North Coast deodorants are probably the second favorite that I’ve tried. I’ve tried a number of them. There’s also another brand that’ll say for another time that makes a cool eco-friendly container for deodorant, but they were starting to work on their formulation.

They needed a little bit more work before I get there. One issue that I have with most deodorants is that they’re used so much plastic and I feel guilty about it, but finding a good deodorant formulation is important for many of us because we don’t want our armpits to smell. There’s the sensitivity to your skin. There’s a lot of factors to consider. Is it vegan? There’s a lot of things to think about it when it comes to deodorant. North Coast Organics reached out because they created a special line or partnership. I don’t know if it’s a limited-time series they’re doing, but it is all Grateful Dead themed deodorant.

Allow life to be life. Allow for chaos, uncertainty, growth, evolution and beautiful surprises. Click To Tweet

All of their packaging are designed based on the Grateful Dead. They sent me all of these cool stickers with Grateful Dead imagery and their deodorants have gotten even better since it’s been years since I first tried them, but they’re good. They come in different shapes that are satisfying. The Schmidt’s deodorant is the standard oval-shaped, but this is circular shaped and it’s so satisfying to apply and the cap twists off. The experience of putting it on is nice. The sense is amazing and I’m going to have to pull them up so that I remember all of them, but I feel like you’re going to have more questions as I’m doing this. What do you want to know?

I don’t know that I have questions, but I’m in a musical mood because the Grateful Dead sticker, the deadhead icon reminded me of the line from the Don Henley song, The Boys of Summer, where he goes, “Out on the road today I saw dead head stick around the Cadillac.” Yours is going to be, “Out on the road today, I saw a deadhead sticker on a Model 3.”

I’m not going to go as far as to put a sticker on my car because I’m not that type of driver. They gave me many stickers. I’m going to have to give some away including to you. A few basic details about North Coast Organics is they are certified vegan, certified non-GMO, USDA organic. They’re also B Corp certified and cruelty-free. They released this Grateful Dead series, small-batch, handmade deodorants. I don’t know that much about Grateful Dead, to be honest. I’m about to read the whole story. It’s sweet. When you check it out, there are pictures of the founder. Did you or I meet him?

This was 2012 or 2013. I did meet him.

Blasts from the past, but there are these great photos of him in San Francisco and they used some filter to look like these photos were taken in the ‘70s. The Grateful Dead influenced their core principles as a company, which is neat. It kept them true to their mission of social responsibility. As a result, there’s this whole story about Nathan’s trip. He became a veg head supporting organic agriculture, becoming environmentally conscious, engaging in political anti-war activity, donating time and money. This is making me want to get more into the Grateful Dead history because it sounds like me. They created these five different scents and some of these are based on the Grateful Dead songs, but you’ll have to tell them, how familiar are you with the Grateful Dead music?

I need to go on record and state that I am not a deadhead. I categorically jam band music that probably people would maybe Lump, Grateful Dead, Fish, String Cheese Incident, and Dave Matthews. I don’t vibe with that genre of music. I’ve never heard any that I was like, “I love this.” I’m not familiar with Grateful Dead songs. I don’t know their catalog.

Maybe you won’t recognize any of these deodorants, but perhaps I’m curious how many deadheads we have reading our blog. Maybe they’ll come out of the woodworks now that I mentioned in this. My favorite that I use is lavender and rose, and that one’s called Skull and Roses. They have an Unscented. They have one called Sunshine, which is blood orange and bergamot. I feel like you’re going to want that one. You’re still waiting for me to share all of them before you make your decision.

I feel like you’re right. Blood orange and bergamot sounds like something I would want to eat. Therefore, if I’m going to put it in my mouth, I’ll probably put it on my body too.

They have one called Timber, which is Douglas fir and sage. I have to say it smells reminiscent of a natural bug spray I’ve used. I wasn’t as intuitive as I thought it was going to be. Being fully honest with that one, it wasn’t for me. The last one’s called Workingman’s and that Cedarwood in Juniper. I like that one a lot. I like those earthy scents. I love what they’re all about that’s why I felt like they deserved a shout out. I’d love your opinion on it too. I always like it when we can talk about a brand that we’re both into.

I assume that you’re going to forward me this bergamot and blood orange version.

MGU 121 | Human Desire

Human Desire: Expectations are not real thinking. They are illusions.

 

I will give you that and you can try it out for yourself. Lastly, before we fully wrap the show, let’s dive into some Frequently Asked Queries. I didn’t vet any specifically for the theme of the show as I sometimes do, because sometimes we can’t plan. What would you like to start with? Funny or interesting or serious?

Let’s go with serious, then interesting and funny.

Somebody typed in, “Certainty is the enemy of truth.”

If we accept that the opposite of reality is an illusion and that reality is true and illusion would be false, even if we believe that it’s true, then that makes sense. If we accept that in my philosophy, part of the intrinsic nature of reality on planet earth is uncertainty then that rings true for me.

We have an interesting query. Lots to choose from here. I’m curious off the top of my head. There are a few that I want to mention. We’ll save them for future episodes, not to tease the readers, but because there’s a lot of interesting things that people type in Google searches, but this one, for some reason, I felt like a hearing your answer too, because I’m sure you know the answer to this, Jason, “Is Stevie Wonder completely blind?”

Yes. A side note, super interesting fact about Stevie Wonder. I have three fascinating, interesting connections to Stevie Wonder, yet I’ve never personally met him. He is one of the artists that touched my life in so many ways. First of all, I grew up listening to all his vinyl records being from Detroit and Motown. He is one of the rare people that I would have a very difficult time keeping my composure if I were ever to meet him. I’m putting out onto the universe because I welcomed that level of discomfort. Especially if Stevie was like, “I heard you were a singer. Do you want to sit down and sing?” I would probably immediately poop in my pants.

It’s neat to think about meeting people that you admire so much and how you might react to that and know that it’s a possibility too. It’s like, “I assume this will happen. I hope it’ll happen, but maybe it never will. If it does, how am I going to act?” I look forward to hearing the story. I got very close to meeting Stevie Wonder because he used to come into the Apple Store that I worked at in Los Angeles. I don’t think I ever saw him. He would come in the back and go into the manager’s office because since he is completely blind and I don’t know if it was due to blindness or that he didn’t want to cause a ruckus in the store.

Whenever he wanted to buy something, he would go into the back to get the support that way. I don’t know if he was getting something repaired, but I know it happened multiple times and it was cool because it will be like, “Stevie Wonder is here,” but he would only interact with the managers because he was in that room. I don’t have any recollection at least, unless for some reason I’m blocking it out, but that seems like a weird memory. I met a lot of cool people while working for Apple and he was not one of them sadly. One more for funny. I don’t know why this one made me laugh so I thought I’d share it, “Bada bing bada boom meaning?”

In the dictionary, “Bada bing bada boom,” is a phrase used to emphasize that something will happen effortlessly and predictably.

That completely ties into our topic and I didn’t even mean for it.

The cornerstone of life is self-mastery. Click To Tweet

It’s slang for, “It’s finished, it’s taken care of.”

I feel like I would like to start saying that more often. It’s very satisfying.

Especially, I think if you make a certain gesture with your hand where you’re like, “Bada bing bada boom.” It’s not like a mic drop, but it’s almost like you’re throwing it down, “Bada bing bada boom.” You’re taking your hand and you’re flipping your wrist as if you threw something down. It’s almost the same gesture that people do when they’re throwing money at a stripper like, “Bada bing bada boom, it’s done.”

I love that you keep describing your gesture with that phrase. Just because you’re describing it with that phrase it doesn’t mean anybody has any idea what gesture you’re making. For me, when I hear that phrase, the gesture that I would do if I was going to say that is like pointing to the side left and right.

I literally thought you were going to say, “Pointing to one’s crotch,” because that’s even funnier or doing the crotch slap that the pro wrestlers did in the ‘90s. When you take your hands like a karate chop, the inner thigh near the crotch, that could also be a gesture for bada bing bada boom. It’s like, “Slap, crotch, bada bing bada boom.”

If we bring it back semi-full circle because it wasn’t fully at the beginning of our episode, but maybe that’s the gesture you make when you’ve had a lot of magnesium and you wake up the next day.

I feel like the next time it happens. I’m going to make that gesture toward my girlfriend Laura and see how she reacts. I’ll report back with more information on the next episode. Dear reader, as we are referencing this amazing Magnesium Breakthrough from BiOptimizers, I want to give you the last shout out where you can find the special deal we are doing with our amazing sponsor. The website is BiOptimizers.com/wellevatr. You can use the code WELLEVATR10 to save 10%. On that note, if you do have any of the benefits we described as sexual or not, but probably especially the sexual benefits we’d love to hear from you.

Feel free to email us. Our direct email is [email protected]. You could have subject line Morning Wood or Amazing Boners or Everyone’s Happy at the House, whatever you want. If you do decide to take advantage of this discount code and get the Magnesium Breakthrough, we always want to hear from you no matter what, especially with the benefits you experience taking the supplement. With that, dear reader, thanks for getting uncomfortable with us here on the show as always.

We like to have fun, get serious, fling ourselves into the unknown of life and we’re glad that you’re doing it with us. For all of the references to the great products, resources, books, articles, songs, all the things we referenced, go to our website. You can find out where to access us on social media and give us some shout outs. We are on all the major ones, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, YouTube, TikTok, all of them. Keep in touch. Let us know how the magnesium works for you if you have any funny morning wood stories or any great road trip stories or any stories at all. We always love hearing from you. Dear reader, until next time. We wish you all of the best and bada bing bada boom.

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