What are your dreams and ambitions, and why aren’t you going after them? The biggest roadblock between you and your destiny is fear. In this episode, Jason Wrobel and Whitney Lauritsen break down the reasons why people are afraid to take that first step. It could be the fear of not getting instant results, the fear of failure, or the fear of getting out of their comfort zone. If you’re experiencing these right now, then this episode is for you. Tune in and discover how you can break down that wall of fear and chase after your dreams!
—
Watch the episode here
Listen to the podcast here
Breaking Down The Wall Of Fear That Keeps Us From Our Purpose
One of the benefits of doing a show and doing a business where we interact with a lot of people and ask deep questions, not just here in the episodes, but also any time that we interact with any students in our programs or clients, we are big fans of asking questions that don’t necessarily lead to answers, but perhaps get people to examine their identity, their sense of self, and what they’re doing in the world. When we create our assessments and our programs, where we ask questions to each other or guests here, it isn’t necessarily because we’re expecting a concrete answer. Some of the best questions we can ask people lead them maybe further down the rabbit hole. In a couple of our programs that we have with our brand, Wellevatr, we have weekly assessments in our Wellness Warrior Training Program in particular, where we ask a lot of detailed, intimate questions at times. The answers we get are often fascinating, sometimes compelling, sometimes sad.
The willingness for people to open up and answer honestly gives you tremendous insight and empathy into what people are going through. In scanning over the weekly assessments that we got with some of the answers that people are submitting, one of the things that I got a little sad about when I was reviewing these new assessments was how many people are sharing some version of the fact that they’re not doing what they want to be doing in their lives. They’re not pursuing their dreams. They’re not pursuing their hobbies. It doesn’t have to be necessarily this big grandiose going after the huge dream per se, but I’ve noticed that there’s some version of, “I want to start learning an instrument or playing music more. I want to start gardening. I want to start my side business. I want to start painting again.”
There’s a lot of different permutations of this perspective, but the reason I got sad is to gauge how often this type of sentiment comes up for people. It makes me curious why, first of all, and what’s holding people back from doing this? If we’re seeing this come up on our assessments, as often as it does, I’m sure we can blow this out into a much larger conversation of why people feel stuck, why they feel maybe a sense of defeat or hopelessness, why they’re not going after a new hobby, a new experiment chasing their dreams. The awareness is there that they’re not doing it. We always talk about how awareness isn’t the whole enchilada. It’s just one step in terms of our growth and our self-awareness. It’s like, “I know I want to do this thing, but I’m not doing it.” It stops there.
My curiosity and what I want to dig into in this episode is to talk about, first of all, what the hell are dreams and ambitions anyway and why aren’t people going after them? This is a much bigger discussion maybe about the sociological ramifications or what’s going on in our culture. The overall feeling that I got was a little bit of sadness in reading how often this type of thing comes up. I want to crack it open with you. To lead it off on a very macro level, Whitney, because you and I have individually worked with a lot of people, we also coach people together. Why do you think people don’t go for it? What’s keeping people stuck in terms of this? Why do people have this realization, but then don’t do shit about it?
It’s not an easy option. It‘s not an easy solution. Clarity is a huge part of this. One of our popular Instagram post was about how a lot of people feel like they lack motivation, but they lack clarity. That came from James Clear, who wrote Atomic Habits. What comes up a lot on our show is the amount of fear and pressure that people put on themselves. It starts with awareness. Clarity is part of awareness. It starts with that desire, that passion and making a plan to take steps. Once you take your first step, you have to plan for the next one and you have to be consistent with it. I saw an interesting TikTok video about this, where there’s a trend of people complaining about how life can feel so boring and life can feel like it’s Groundhog’s Day.
It’s the same day every day. We’re in the same rhythm and people complain about that. They want a lot of excitement. This brilliant response to that video on TikTok was a younger woman saying how we make progress through the consistency. We make progress through doing the same things over and over again. Part of it is a lot of people aren’t willing to be consistent. That’s where habits come in. Atomic Habits is such a phenomenal read for anyone who’s struggling with things like this. It breaks down the psychology of what it takes to form habits and creating habits is not that easy.
As a society, we’ve made it sound very easy. You and I have talked about so much on the show about how there are many people that want to provide formulas and a ten-step strategy to achieving something. We get it into our head that it’s a lot easier than it is. Sometimes you work on something and you think, “I didn’t get those results so I guess it’s not going to work for me.” You give up, but consistency is a huge key. We’ve also been told that habits can be formed in as quickly as 21 days, but there’s some conflicting data around that.
I’ve heard all sorts of numbers. I’ve heard a lot about 60 days to form a habit. A lot of us struggled to even do it for 21 days, let alone do something consistently for 60 days. It sounds challenging. To do something consistently when you’re not getting the rewards that you want, which are huge part of habit creation, you have to build in some reward system in order to maintain a habit. A lot of people give up way too early. That’s part of it. There’s fear. Sometimes fear stops people from even starting. A lot of people wanted quick results. They want quick wins. They want something that doesn’t involve patience.
We have to remember that this is a long game. This is something I know that you can relate to, Jason because I’ve heard you express frustration over our brand, Wellevatr and how doesn’t feel like we’re getting where you want to go with it? When I step back and try to look at Wellevatr with as little biases I possibly can being in this business, I have to recognize that we’ve only been working on this brand for a few years. We officially started working on Wellevatr might’ve been Spring 2018, but I often think about how we started to build momentum and put things into action in May or June, 2018.
I feel like we have made a lot of progress. When we put it down on paper, there were monetary examples of progress. There was progress in terms of numbers growth. We’ve had a lot of wonderful moments with our show, which is a big part of Wellevatr. Another thing I’ve noticed is some people forget about all the little pieces of progress that they’re making, because they’re so hung up on getting the big rewards. If you don’t feel like you’re making progress, it’s hard to keep going. All of this seems to me to be part of the reason that people don’t want to start.
Lastly, getting the momentum to begin something is the hardest part. It’s true of most things that we start doing. We get so accustomed to our way of living. Our viewpoints, our belief systems, and our brains thrive on patterns. When we disrupt the pattern with something new in our life, it takes us time to adapt to it. This is true when it comes to fitness, changing the way that you eat, and changing your life in any big way. Even when we’re unhappy, we get very comfortable with that unhappiness. We have to push ourselves to do things differently and recognize that it will take 1, 2, 3 weeks or more for us to get accustomed to that change and make it easier and easier. That’s my perspective on this is that most people aren’t willing to start because it feels too hard to start.
Maybe that’s one of the reasons why we chose the name we did for this show is acknowledging that the desire for familiarity, comfort, safety, if it’s clung to too intently, prevents oneself from moving forward. It feels safe in some ways to stay at mom and dad’s house for the rest of your life. It stays safe too perhaps reflecting back some of the assessment feedback we’ve received. People saying things like, “I’m in a job I don’t like, but I’m comfortable. It provides for my family.” Especially with the backdrop of a pandemic and the rollercoaster of the economic system, I’m seeing people alluding to the fact that they don’t love what they’re doing. They don’t like their work, but they’re staying there because it’s comfortable and it provides. To break down your sentiment, Whitney of a lot of factors here, it’s about like, “What is it we’re fearing anyway? Is it death? Is it the destruction of our reputation? Is it losing trust and social standing with our friends and family and the people we care about?”
When you talk about fear, I agree with you. It’s important to speak out loud what these fears are. People say I’m afraid of failure. It’s like, “What does that mean?” Does failure mean to you you’re going to feel a sense of shame because your family is going to say, “I told you so. You shouldn’t have started that new business. You shouldn’t have gone for your dreams.” Is it a fear of being shamed? Does failure equal shame? Does failure equal a loss of identity? Does failure equals death? When we’re talking about fears, Whit and we’re bringing up what’s holding people back in their perception of life, it’s important to go levels deeper because often people are like, “Yeah, I’m scared.” It’s like, “What are you scared of?” Are the things we are scared of the things we’re scared of? Are there things that are deeper than that?
Oftentimes, it’s a deeper conversation. If we talk about failure, for instance, for me, when I’ve observed my fear of failure, it’s more like a sense of letting the people in my life down. I feel like when I go for something and I perceive that I failed at it. It’s almost like, “Look at the amount that other people have invested in me, the coaches I’ve worked with, the teachers, my mentor, my mom, you as my business partner.” For me, I’ve acknowledged that there’s a lot of people who have helped me a lot in my life. I feel in some ways my idea of failure is like I’ve let everyone down. If I’ve let everyone down, what does that mean? They’re not going to love me as much. It’s almost the illusion.
A lot of times the fear of failure is not based in reality. If I follow that thread for myself, as an example in real time, it’s the idea that I won’t be loved as much. I won’t be respected as much by the people I care about if I have failed, which is not true. You and I have talked a lot about the perceived failures I’ve had in my life and my career. I’ve talked to the people in my life and no one’s ever said, “Jason, you’re not as lovable. What a piece of shit you are.” No one’s ever said anything like that. Part of this conversation is not speaking the fears out loud and going those levels deeper, but asking if those fears are even valid. Is it even a valid fear? Does it even exist in reality that if I don’t do this or I fail at X, this thing that I’m afraid of will happen. Most times it’s not a valid fear in the sense that those things will happen. If I take a big financial risk, will I be homeless?
My father was homeless at the end of his life. One of my big things is like, “If I invest all this money or I do this thing and I fail and I don’t have any money left, I’ll end up homeless.” Is that a valid fear? No. I could go live in a friend’s house. There’s plenty of people who have said to me, “If things get hard, you can come stay with me.” If I fail and I take a big financial risk and it doesn’t turn out, would I be homeless? No. Would I have a roof over my head? Yes. My point in breaking this down, Whit, to use your fear conversation as a springboard, most of the fears for me and I would surmise most people may not even be grounded in an actual thing. Sometimes they are. How do you feel about that in maybe your own internal conversation around your fears? Do you feel like they’re grounded in reality, or do you feel like it’s an illusion of the mind that part of your consciousness is trying to convince you is real? How do you feel about that?
It’s interesting because I have reflected a lot about these things and I don’t have a ton of conscious fear. It’s an interesting thing to reflect on when you’re not in a fear state. It’s similar to pain where you’ve forgotten what pain is like when you’re not experiencing pain. In this moment, I feel fairly secure and fear feels very minimal. I feel safe, supported, taken care of and confident. It‘s rare that I’m presented with an opportunity that causes me to feel fear in a major way. It plays a lot of many roles in our lives. When I think about something like COVID and how I feel afraid of getting COVID. I feel afraid of how that would impact me in the short-term and the long-term. I feel afraid of the unknowns.
That’s the best way I can relate to fear in this moment, Jason. It’s a complicated thing and also a simple thing at the same time because it’s very primal. As human beings, we experience fear oftentimes for a reason. Overtime, it’s become a bit confusing to us because for the most part, our survival isn’t being threatened. That’s why COVID is fearful to me because it feels tied into my survival. Fear in terms of pursuing a passion, fear in terms of changing my lifestyle, I don’t experience a lot of that. That’s because I’m in practice of it. This goes back to what I was saying about how important it is to develop habits and be consistent. I’m in the habit of trying new things all the time. I’m in the habit of experimenting.
It’s not that it isn’t uncomfortable. It’s that it doesn’t feel like a super strong fear. A great example is how Jason and I reached out to a big celebrity to see if this person would be on our show, that was nerve wracking, but I did it anyways. I could reflect on it and think, “I feel uncomfortable doing this,” but I wouldn’t necessarily say that I was afraid. That’s an important thing to clarify for yourself, “Is it fear or is a discomfort?” They can be similar, but it all depends on the context.
Overcoming fear: The willingness for people to open up and answer honestly gives you tremendous insight and empathy into what they are going through.
They can be very close to one another because it’s almost like trying something new that makes you uncomfortable. “What is the source of discomfort,” is a good sub-question to this. When we do things that feel uncomfortable, why is it uncomfortable? Is it because on a cellular level we’re not used to it? In terms of say like trying a new sport, if somebody never snowboarded before and they get their feet into a snowboard, that could be a very basic example of discomfort, “I’ve never put my feet on a board this way. I’ve never done this activity.” The example you talked about of us drafting this email and sending it out with this potential celebrity guest here on the show to talk about her mental health journey, etc., it’s not that it was uncomfortable to draft an email and send it.
It’s almost like the discomfort is, “Are we going to be rejected?” That to me is the zoning in. It’s not the actual creation, the writing and the sending of an email. We write and we send emails, newsletters and social posts hundreds of times a month. It’s not the writing and distribution. It’s asking someone and being like, “They might say no.” There’s nothing wrong with no. It’s how we choose to internalize what the meaning of no is. We talk a lot about conscious languaging. We talk a lot about self-awareness and oftentimes, we can get a response when we put a request out.
There’s a mutual friend of ours who a few years ago I was on a trip. I told this person that I had a crush on them. I was fricking terrified to do it because what’s the terrifying part? Is the terrifying part telling a friend that I have a crush on them and expressing like, “I feel these warm feelings for you and I don’t quite know what to do with it. I wanted to let you know because I don’t want to keep carrying this around. I want to put it out in the open.” The fear is not in human communication and expressing this heartfelt sentiment to a person I care about, who’s a friend, who I have romantic interests in. It’s, they may not reciprocate.
What does that mean? If they say, “I don’t feel the same way.” Does that mean I’m bad? Does that mean I’m unworthy of love? It’s not the no. It’s all of the meanings and associations we slap on top of it, “I’m unworthy. I’m not attractive enough. Why doesn’t she feel the same way about me? Did I do something wrong or am I going to jeopardize the friendship?” A simple no, or a simple, “I don’t feel the same way,” has all of these layers of meaning we put on top of it. To your point, Whitney, whether it’s professing our love to someone, taking a risk in a new business, sending an email to a celebrity contact and asking them to collab, it’s not the answer. It’s the meaning we assigned to the answer. That’s true for all of life. One might say that from a philosophical perspective, that life itself is neutral.
That a yes or a no, or right or a wrong, or this or that we assign meaning to things, but they’re inherently meaningless. A yes or a no from a person can have vastly different meanings. If you notice, say in a relationship, when a relationship ends be that a romantic or a business partnership or whatever the context is, oftentimes one person in that relationship container will sometimes feel devastated and then the other person can feel liberated like they’re free.
The fact is a relationship ended. It’s neither right nor wrong, good nor bad. The meaning that people associate on a relationship ending or changing form, that’s where the emotional charge comes in. This is an interesting framework to look at life and say, “Is what’s happening good or bad or is it my framing and my belief system that is coloring it that way?” You and I getting a no response from a celebrity, is that going to crush us? Is it going to destroy our day and annihilate you and our sense of who we are, Whitney? No, it won’t.
For a minute, it might be like, “That sucks.” If we were to take it to heart and say, “We must suck ass. We must be horrible hosts. We must be shitty entrepreneurs. We’re not popular enough. That’s why she said no because look at our numbers. I bet she looked at the numbers and went, who are these plebeians? I’m not going to do it with these.” We could layer all that on top of it. It may not even be true, but that’s our filter perhaps if we were to go down that road. Our perception of not enoughness playing out in our lives. I’m proud of us. You would talk about small wins of like, “We didn’t let it destroy our day.” We could have been like, “Our day is shit now. She said no to us,” but we didn’t.
Awareness isn't the whole enchilada; it's only one step in terms of your growth. Share on XMy point is a lot of this is about belief system off who we are, but also our perspective on our worldview because it’s easy. We talk about habits. It’s easy to get into a mode of feeling defeated. I know that place because it feels like when I feel like light life is defeat after defeat, it’s hard to feel hopeful. It’s almost like your brain and your physiology starts expecting to be defeated. “Why should I bother sending the email? They’re going to say no. Why should I create this collaboration or this invitation? They’re going to say no because the last 10, 20 people said no.”
We’re talking about where does fortitude and resilience come from. This is an interesting conversation. I know you know what rejection feels like. We all do as humans especially if you take risks and you’re a creative person and in business for yourself. I’m curious building that muscle of resilience and persistence, Whitney, what’s that like for you? How do we not get stuck in the defeat cycle? It‘s easy to stay stuck there.
It’s practice. I’ll keep coming back to the same things I said at the beginning, where it’s about consistency. You have to practice it because we never know what the outcome is going to be of anything. Even something that we’ve done over and over again could be different and is slightly different every single time. We do know that pain is often connected to our expectations. If we go into something expecting it to work out for us and it doesn’t work out, that’s very painful. If we go into something without expecting something and it works out, that’s exciting.
If we go into something without expectations and it doesn’t work out, it’s not that big of a deal. That was part of this experience that we had inviting the celebrity on to our show is I’m sure there were some expectations or maybe hope is a better word. There was confidence that built up because you and I were very intentional about the way we approach this. We found a connection to this person. We did our diligence there. For me it’s like, “There’s a chance this is going to work out. There’s a chance somebody is going to say yes,” but there always is a chance. It’s very rare in life that something is guaranteed not to go right or guaranteed to go the way that we want it to.
If you try to be aware of your expectations and you say, “I understand that there is a high chance of this going well. I understand there’s a high chance of this not going well,” then whatever the outcome is, if it’s in alignment with your understanding of something that it’s a little less painful. Perhaps if I think about this situation again, maybe my expectation, if there was one there, Jason was that I expected it wasn’t going to work out. That’s why it wasn’t so hard. I had hoped that it would work out in our favor. The sadness I experienced when we were told no was there because of that hope. I have mental habits of feeling uncomfortable when I feel rejected. It’s because that did feel like a form of rejection, it did feel slightly uncomfortable because those are lingering emotions that I’ve experienced.
It’s very complicated, but what makes it easier is that we have practiced our awareness. We have worked on our self consistently. We have done our best to not have major expectations one way or another. All of that practice makes these situations easier than they might’ve been when we weren’t in the practice. It’s very similar to the way that we eat. Some people think, “It’s amazing that you’ve been plant-based for so long. You are confident speaking in your show or Clubhouse or making TikTok videos.” People will say these things to me.
I try to be transparent and say, “It’s because I’ve been practiced with all of those things,” but you put me in a place where I haven’t practiced something as much. I’m not going to be as good. I’m trying to think of an example. Practice and consistency is important to me. That’s like my go-to. Having that mentality of, “I’m probably not going to be great at something when I begin it but if I do it consistently, I practice it consistently, I will get better.” That mindset has helped me a lot in all these situations.
Overcoming fear: Once you take your first step, you have to plan for the next one and you have to be consistent with it.
Expectations are tough because expectations are often wrapped up in the conversation around perfectionism and ego. In the sense that if I do everything right, then I ought to get this result. If I check all the boxes, if I work with the right coach or the right mentor, or I go to the right business school, or I get the right education, if I marry the “right person” there’s so many permutations of this. When you think about wanting a certain outcome, on a primal level, human beings are wired for survival. If we take certain precautions, if I fortify my house in a particular way, then I can expect that it’s going to be tough for thieves to break into my house. If I buy a certain car that has safety features, then I ought to be able to survive an accident. It’s a lot of examples in life.
As humans where we use these neurological predictive models in our brain to think, “If I do this thing, buy this thing, take this right action, then I have an expectation that I’m going to get what I want, or I’m going to prevent what I don’t want.” That’s another side of it too. It’s interesting how we as humans compartmentalize danger to get through our day. The reality is every single time that we go in a car and we drive or go on a motorcycle or a bicycle, or take a walk, there’s a chance that we can get into an accident.
Every single time that we do those things, there is a chance that we could get hit, get into an accident, etc. How many times are we in a car driving, thinking like, “I have to be hyper. What about that guy? What about this? We need to swerve there. I need to do this.” We’re not in a hypervigilant state of trying to protect ourselves or prevent death in every single moment we’re in a car. There are situations that come up that do feel life-threatening in our lives. It’s interesting how we can engage in activities like driving a car that is a much higher risk to our actual physical health than sending an email and possibly getting rejected yet, we put a lot more weight, the perceived danger of something like getting rejected, even though it’s not going to threaten us per se. It’s interesting how we do that as humans. We compartmentalize actual dangers and act like they don’t exist moment to moment, but then the illusion of danger of something like rejection or ego getting bruised, we put so much more importance on those things.
We’re talking about mental state here and I suppose feelings because all of this comes down to how we perceive the world and how we look at things like rejection, danger or risk taking is about our relationship to emotions. If we didn’t have emotions and we didn’t have a mental state, then none of this stuff would matter, but we are extremely emotional creatures as human beings. Whitney and I are super passionate about how do we feel good knowing that we’re not going to feel good all of the time.
I’m a big fan in terms of looking at different ways that I can eat live, breathe, sleep, make love, dance, create music, things that are going to make me feel good. We know that when you start the day and you feel good, it tends to carry a thread throughout your entire day. We have been rocking out with a lot of different things over the years as we do. We’re big life experimentalists. We’ve talked about our mutual love for CBD, cannabis products, psychotropic medicine, plant medicines. Truth be told, I didn’t know a whole lot about this product. There’s some out there called terpenes. Terpenes are these aromatic complex plant compounds that you’ll find in everyday foods like pineapple, which I take for a variety of reasons. I don’t know if we can say that it’s a family show. I eat pineapple, Whitney so that hopefully my semen tastes better. That’s why I do it.
Girls do that too, by the way, it’s not just guys.
Eat the pineapple thing?
A lot of people feel they lack motivation, but what they really lack is clarity. Share on XYeah.
I didn’t know that. I thought it was a guy thing.
It makes everyone’s genitals more appealing.
To that end, what is it about the pineapple that makes your genitals more appealing? There’s a compound in natural foods called terpenes. These are aromatic compounds that you find in flowers, spices, herbs, fruits and vegetables. There are a lot of these terpenes out there that they’ve isolated and research that you will find that can enhance things like your mood, sleep, sexual activity. It’s cool to dig into the research of terpenes. CBD and THC and these other compounds, they’re the sexier ones. Everyone talks about, “You want your CBD, CBN and THC, but these terpenes are found in a product that we’re super jazzed about, jazz hands.” That’s how jazzed we are. We throw up jazz hands. It’s a product called Rellies (sponsored). Rellies is a blend of different proprietary terpenes that are aimed at mood enhancement.
We’ve been doing all three of theirs, but the one we’re doing right now that I do during the day is called Joy. Why is that? I tend to be a grumpy bastard. Whitney knows this. My friends know that I’m a grumpy son of a bitch. I love you, mom. You’re not a bitch. It’s a colloquial term, but I am. I’m a grumpy bastard. You know this. You’re a business partner and one of my best friends, Whitney. You put up with my grumpiness all the time. Not only for your benefit, but the world’s benefit. I want to cultivate more joy in my life. I do that through my meditation practice. I do that through dancing. I’m a musician, but I’m always looking for stuff to kick that joy factor up a little bit.
I take three of these in my mouth. I take three full dropper fulls. I do find that it gives me a little bit of lift. It takes the edge off in the middle of my day. I found too, that right around the middle of my day, I tend to have an energy dip and start to feel extra grumpy right around like 3:00, 3:30. That’s when I hit this. When I take a few dropper fulls of Rellies. The other one that I’ve been enjoying that I’ve been rocking too, is their Calm. Since we’re talking about joyfulness, breaking through fear, when you do feel joyful in life, joy and fear can’t necessarily occupy the same space, emotionally speaking. When we break through our fear, it’s like, “I’m so glad I did that.” I’m wondering if we can face our fears joyfully.
I‘m digging this Rellies stuff. It tastes delicious. I’m loving, experimenting with all of their terpenes and for you dear reader, we have a cool offer for you. If you want to try out these terpene products, again, these terpenes are all plant-based. They’re fully natural. There’s no CBD, no THC, and no psychoactive elements at all. If you, like some people I know, don’t want to go down the train of taking the CBD or the THC because maybe it doesn’t jive with your neurology, maybe you don’t want to get high, these terpenes do not get you high. They’re a non-psychoactive. They are naturally and gently elevating your state of being. It’s not like all of a sudden you’re like, “I’m a naturally joy and I’m freaky. Everyone’s scared because I’m happy.” It’s not like that.
Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones
It’s a very gentle onset of mood balancing. We’re super stoked about it. We have a special offer at Wellevatr.com. You can save 20% on your first order of these amazing terpenes from Rellies. The coupon code is the number 20Wellies. I love how they did that, Whitney. They combined our two names. They took Rellies and made it Wellies, which was very creative. We love Ryan and Jake, the co-founders of the company. I don’t know if it’s going to make your genitals tastes better. It may. We’d love to know that feedback. They are delicious and who doesn’t want good tasting genitals? Who wouldn’t want that, Whit?
We know the people behind this brand that they are not going to be offended that we made that thread through, but I know that Joy contains citrus, cloves and rosemary, I’m wondering if there are any benefits. I did look up briefly. I don’t know if pineapple has as much of an effect on our body as we think it does in terms of taste, but it tastes good. I’m all for it. I saved my daily dose of Joy in terms of Rellies, at least for this episode. It’s funny, because I put the dropper up. You said something about three. Three, what? Three drops?
It’s three entire dropper fulls.
I didn’t even think to take that much because on the bottle it says one dropper full and I often fall follow the rules, but with you being a rebel, I want to try taking more. I might as well right now it does taste good. I have to say. I love the taste of MCT oil from the texture of it. This does have a bit of a tropical flavor to me, but it says citrus, cloves and rosemary. Doesn’t it taste tropical to you, Jason?
It does slightly. It’s the citrus in there. To your point about dosage though, I find with any plant medicine that I’m doing, whether that’s supplements or CBD, THC, psychedelics, the dosage for one person is going to vary from individual to individual. I noticed that for me, I tend to have a higher tolerance for something like CBD or I found with these terpenes and that’s why I do three droppers full. I completely ignored the advice on the label. I was like, “I’m going to triple the dosage and see how I feel.” That’s my sweet spot. If your body tends to be more sensitive to things like terpenes, flower, essences, plant medicines, you may want to do the lower dosage like you did, Whitney.
I’m rebellious and I want flavored genitals. We’re not saying that the terpenes are going to make your genitals change their taste. It’s a big joke. What it is going to do hopefully is elevate your mood. That’s the whole point of this product, why we’ve started taking it, why it’s part of my daily supplementation routine now. On a piggyback that some people are anti supplement. We did a whole episode in the very beginning of this show, Whitney, about how people were like, “I don’t want to take supplements.”
This doesn’t feel like a supplement to me. When I think of supplements, I think of either a pill or you’re trying to supplement for something that you’re not getting or doing another way. To me, I can’t imagine that anyone would be like, “I’m not taking this tincture because it’s a supplement.” A good segue way from talking about this is the joy that you were talking about of passion and pleasure, which are a huge part of this as well. Many of us want more pleasure in our life. It comes in so many forms. For me, first of all, looking at the bottles gives me pleasure. I love that it’s in the blue glass. There are all different pieces of research about the glass that you store things in. I believe that blue glass also adds an energetic element to it, which is neat.
It's very rare in life that something is guaranteed to go right or to go the way that we want it to. Share on XThe labels are incredible. I wanted to say too that I’ve added this into a ritual, one of the best things that works for me with Rellies, but also other actual supplements I take like BiOptimizers who we’ve had on our show too. Another one, we have a lot of amazing guests. The guys from Rellies are coming on our show. We had Wade from BiOptimizers come on our show. We also had Vani from Truvani. It’s a coincidence that all of their products are on my desk, but they’re on my desk because I love these brands. I keep my Rellies along with other supplements here at my desk so that when I do have a moment where my mood is feeling low, to your point, Jason, I will take them.
They’re in my vision, my line of sight, which is a big part of habits. We are visually activated that by seeing something that can trigger a behavior. That’s why I keep them on my desk. Sometimes looking at the bottle of something like this brings me joy. I don’t even have to take it. I see the word joy and I will experience some joy. That’s an important element is that when you’re buying products that are made with love, intention and integrity, it goes a long way because they put a lot of thought into this. When you position them in your life to make sure that you remember to take them because that’s the big thing. When it comes to anything that we consume, my water is another big element of this.
I keep my water bottle full and in my line of sight all day long so that I will continue to drink it. I’ve mentioned before how my specific water bottle lights up at the bottom. It flashes and it catches my attention. As long as it’s somewhere in my periphery, I will drink my water more frequently. You can also set up alerts on your devices. I wear an Apple watch. You could set up calendar alerts to take your supplements at certain times. Jason, for you, you are very aware that you experience a lull in your mood around 3:30 PM. Maybe it would help you to put it on your calendar for at least three weeks straight until you get into the habit where you don’t even think about it anymore.
Every day at 3:30, you’re taking your Rellies Joy and noticing the effects that it has. I keep my Rellies Calm next to my bed. Every night before I go to bed, I take some to help me stay more relaxed. It’s part of my whole ritual. This is how habits are developed. This ties well into this conversation, Jason, because we’re looking to experience more joy in our life. We’re looking to experience pleasure and passion with our personal lives and our professional lives. We have to set ourselves up for success. We have to give ourselves the visual cues. We have to add things into our calendar. We have to commit to being consistent with it. That’s why you and I developed our program, The Consistency Code. For the reader, consistency is incredibly challenging. Most people struggle with it, myself included. It has become easier for me because I’ve set up these systems. I’m a very systems–oriented person if you haven’t noticed. I thrive within systems. I thrive when I know what to do and when.
The other part of this too is the importance we place on these habits. To your point, with the supplements in terms of my mental health and my emotional wellness, this has happened to me, if I run out of my supplements, as an example, and I’m off of them for 1 week or 10 days, I notice a difference in my mood and my emotional state. I have a shelf in my cabinet, in my kitchen, that’s for my supplements. I have them lined up in the order of when I’m going to take them throughout the day.
I have my morning supplements, I have my afternoon supplements and then I have my pre–sleep supplements. I know if that regimen is serving me and it’s a non-negotiable every day that I’m going to see a palpable difference in my mental health and my emotional state. That’s why I’m taking the supplements for longevity, hopefully. We don’t know how long we’re going to live, but from a day-to-day perspective of my mood and my emotions, I know that taking those supplements at different times of day and in a specific order are good for my body. It’s a non-negotiable same thing with my morning meditation. I know if I don’t do it, it’s going to have a profound effect on my day.
What we’re talking about, Whitney, too in terms of habits, trying new things and moving past the discomfort, it’s like I’ve been in physical therapy after my motorcycle accident for a couple months now. The exercises I do every day, they’re not fun. They’re painful, not in a detrimental painful way, but he’s got me doing weight-bearing and doing bands. If any of the readers have ever been in physical therapy, you know that as you progress, you get more and more difficult, challenging exercises as your body continues to strengthen and balance.
Overcoming fear: A lot of people aren’t willing to be consistent; that’s where habits come in.
For me, I know that if I don’t do my PT, I’m going to feel worse as a result. My body’s going to freeze up. My shoulder is going to lock up. I’m not going to have as much strength. It’s going to hurt. In some ways, are some of my personal habits motivated by my desire to feel good? Yes. There’s also the dualistic notion that I know if I don’t do them, I’m going to feel worse. Sometimes when our motivations in life as humans, they can be very similar in the sense of, “I want to feel good. I know if I don’t do X, Y, Z, I’m going to probably feel worse.”
When I’ve lagged on those in the past, when I’ve skipped out on a day of PT, when I’ve missed my supplements for a few days, I notice a difference. It’s important for us when we talk about the creation of new habits, to think about how important are they. What’s the deeper level of importance of why we’re doing what we’re doing? It’s a huge part of this conversation. To your point, setting ourselves up for success by saying, “I know that I have a specific shelf for my supplements. I know that I want to get out three times a day and walk my dog. I’m taking Bella’s leash and I’m putting it by the door. When I look at the door, I see her leash and I’m reminded to take her on a walk.” To your point, the systems and visual cues are in tandem with getting clear about why we’re doing what we’re doing. That’s a good basic system for creating these new habits, whether we stick with them, who knows? That’s another thing about sticking with them, but creating new habits. These are basic tips that people can use for sure. My lull is coming. I’m going to take my Rellies.
I don’t know if it would go so well with water because it’s MCT oil. However, it would go well with coffee or tea because MCT oil is commonly mixed into coffee. We should ask the Rellies team and find out. Stay tuned because we’re going to be talking about Rellies in a few different episodes. That’s a great idea, Jason. If anyone here tries anything with Rellies, instead of dropping it in your mouth, but maybe combining it with other things to make it part of a ritual is smart. They also have the product Focus, which we’ll talk about in another episode. That would be fantastic in coffee because a lot of people drink caffeine in order to help themselves stay energized and focus. I love that idea.
I’m also feeling like I always want to take things and make them into other things. There’s a new product that we’ll talk about in a different episode that I got for the first time, it’s a chocolate fudge that is infused with medicinal mushrooms. It’s a squeezable in a bottle chocolate fudge. That’s another product that I’m excited to talk about in future episodes because I just got it. The reason we share all this to you, dear reader, is because we get excited and stoked about trying new things. We get even more excited when they work and we feel a difference. Whenever we talk about this stuff, it’s because we want to pass these nuggets of wisdom onto you.
Maybe you get as jazzed, excited and genitally flavored as we do. We want to pass along the love. You’ve got to remember to have fun in life. We’re talking a lot about in this episode about fears, failure and habits. These episodes, I don’t know that we feel serious, but I feel like the subject matter is sometimes about improving our lives and doing better can feel so serious. It’s important to remember to take the pressure off and not be so serious about improving ourselves and optimizing ourselves in being a better person and 10X-ing our lives. It can feel so heavy and so pressure filled. We’re big fans of taking the pressure off and having a little more damn fun with this whole process of being a human.
That’s one of the reasons we started this show that we oftentimes talk about maybe heavier subjects, trauma and things like that. Laughter and fun are medicine. These are emotional medicines that we need to cultivate more of. With that, if you have any ideas on any of the subject matter we talked about, passion, purpose, fears, failure, any of the things, or maybe even new recommendations on products. We always love when we get messages to people like, “Have you tried this?” We often get messages from readers turning us onto new products. Whatever you want to say, discuss, share with us, you can email us directly, it’s [email protected]. Visit our website, which is Wellevatr.com.
That’s another thing, if we sense that we are having something creep into us like grumpiness, irritability, mood swings, I’m getting much better at diverting them before they take hold and ruined my day. That’s another part of this conversation is being proactive about making sure that we’re nourished, hydrated or supplemented, we’re taking care of our needs before we spin off on an emotional roller coaster. I’m wanting to get better with that day by day in my life. With that, dear reader, we appreciate you reading, supporting, reviewing, sharing our show. We get messages all the time from people we don’t even know reading. They’re like, “I’ve been reading for months.” It’s like, “We didn’t know you were doing that.” Whether you’re a first–time reader or a long–time fanatic, we love you and appreciate you. We will be back again soon with more supplements, more spelunking of the soul, more perspectives on this crazy ride called life and as always, thanks for getting uncomfortable. We will be back again soon. Love you!
Important links
*We use affiliate links in our show notes. This means we receive a small sales commission if you purchase an item based on our recommendation.
- Wellness Warrior Training
- Instagram – Wellevatr post
- Atomic Habits
- Rellies (SPONSOR – Use code 20WELLIES to save 20% on your order)
- The Ups and Downs of Using Supplements – Previous episode
- BiOptimizers
- Taking Charge of Your Relationship to Food and Wellness with Food Babe Vani Hari – Previous episode
- Truvani
- The Consistency Code
- [email protected]
Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share!
