MGU 323 | Public Consensus

In this digital age, consuming information has never been easier and faster. With everyone vying for attention and following, creators are forced to produce content based on public consensus. However, embracing this mindset forces you to meet unrealistic expectations and feel insecure all the time. Whitney Lauritsen shares how she came to her senses to stop focusing solely on people-pleasing and trying hard to fit in. She explains how destructive it is for a person to feel unworthy or not good enough just to release well-received content. Whitney also talks about recent projects close to her heart, from managing a community-based platform to jumping into the Web3 space.

Listen to the podcast here:


Coming To My Senses

What If The Consensus Is Wrong?

This episode may feel a bit all over the place and I often feel insecure about that because I have this idea that for content to be good, it needs to be concise. We live in this world where content like TikTok, which is going to be part of the focus now, we have become used to or started to prefer very short content. Let me speak about myself.

I tend to prefer watching or listening to things that get to the point quickly, that feels cohesive, that I’m learning and getting something from them. On TikTok, I find my attention span. It is short that if something does not capture my interest quickly, I swipe past it. A lot of us are becoming that way. Social media, in general, has shortened our attention span. It has changed the way we consume and connect.

That is interesting from a lot of different angles but especially, for me, as a content creator. I typically create very differently than I consume so I feel self-conscious a lot of the time. I feel afraid that I will lose people’s interest and that is interesting, isn’t it? As content creators, I often hear other content creators saying things like they are strategically trying to shape their content in a way that holds people’s interest.

We have been conditioned to believe that if we do not hold people’s interest, then we are doing it wrong. What has happened to me and many others is that we are no longer in touch with ourselves because we are focused on what other people want. This has been an ongoing theme of this show but something on my mind because I could tell that this episode would probably be a bit tangential. It would go in a lot of different directions and the whole show is like that in a lot of ways.

Sometimes I read back to these episodes, and I feel incredibly insecure. It is tough but there is something deep down that keeps me going and coming back. As I listen to other shows sometimes, I like it when they are tangential. I like the conversations, not the interviews. I listened to Glennon Doyle’s podcast and hers felt that way. It reminded me of the episode I did with Liz MacDowell on my show, which is one of the most popular episodes of all time. It falls into the top fifteen episodes, at least.

It is interesting because when I first read back to that episode, the day it came out, I felt so embarrassed. It’s because I kept saying the word “like.” I noticed that I do not feel conscious of myself saying that word very often, but when I read back to that episode, that was all I could read. We both were saying it but I noticed myself sounding like I did not have things altogether and that in itself ties into the inspiration for this episode.

Plant-Powered People Podcast

Speaking of other episodes, I want to give a quick plug to a podcast that I was on called The Plant-Powered People Podcast. If you either found my show through that episode, first of all, welcome. Second of all, if you have never heard of that show before, it was done by my friends, Michelle and Toni, who I have known for many years due to content creation. They are both creators or influencers.

I liked that episode. I remember when we recorded it feeling like it was not that good of an episode but when I listened back to it months later, we recorded that in June 2021 and you can tell because I referenced this show a number of times and unfortunately, that episode came out in mid-February 2022, months after Jason departed this show.

There are some things that are now outdated about that episode but we talked about compassion fade and fatigue, which Jason and I had addressed on the show in 2021. Toni and Michelle wanted to talk about it, especially in the context of veganism. I loved that conversation, the three of us talking. It is interesting how we can feel insecure about things at one point and, later on, look back at them. There can be a shift where maybe what felt insecure at the moment, we look back on it and we are like, “It was not that bad or I feel proud of that.” Other times though, and this happens to me a lot, I do something, feel confident about it, I look back on it and it makes me cringe. That is so relatable.

A Wonderful Woman

One thing I wanted to bring up is this video I saw on TikTok from a wonderful woman. Her account is called @The_LittleGarden. She created this quick, short video about accepting yourself completely. Before she even started, I found myself leaning into her because she was recording it in what looked like to be Arizona, maybe Sedona, if I were to guess. I love Arizona so much. I have often wondered if I could live there. It makes me feel amazing and I’m scheduled to go there in May 2022.

MGU 323 | Public Consensus

Public Consensus: Social media must be made private and protected. It should be a place where trolls would find extremely challenging to enter into.

 

My heart is giving a beat now because I’m also planning to go to Colorado. I bought tickets for a concert, the very first concert that I have been to since COVID-19. The last concert I went to was on November 23rd, 2019. I looked it up. I did not remember the date off the top of my head but it was to see Ray LaMontagne, who is one of my favorite musicians. I have made it my goal not to miss a concert of his and that has been over the pasts several years.

I have seen him many times and I feel amazing listening to his music, in general, but especially live. If you have not heard him at all, I hope you look him up. I saw him last in Los Angeles at the small venue on November 23rd, 2019. I believe that I did not go to another concert since and I bought tickets to see him play at Red Rocks, which is now my favorite concert venue.

It is an outdoor amphitheater in the rocks outside of Denver. I love Colorado and Arizona. I can’t wait to go back and I hope that nothing gets in the way of that, mainly COVID-19. I fell in this video from The Little Garden and it is this lovely older woman who looks like a grandma type, a soothing older woman presence and she is outdoors. I wanted to hear what she had to say.

On her Tiktok, it says the phrase, “Accept yourself completely. You are okay.” She shares this quote. I don’t know if it is of hers or if it is original or not but it ends with the phrase, “Everything I feel, think, say, and do is a necessary part of my awakening.” That brings me comfort because I feel so self-critical of myself. I imagine you might as well or have in the past, or you at least know somebody who feels. It is common for us to feel unworthy and not good enough. It’s so common for us to want to be perfect and struggle when we do not feel perfect. I think about that so much.

I think about that as I go through TikTok and how I respond to people. It reminds me of that episode I did of The Ick factor, too. If I can reframe things in this mentality of that, everything I’m doing, feeling, thinking, and saying is necessary, then maybe I can be less hard on myself. That is very comforting. I should probably reflect on this every day.

I wish I could have this actual woman from The Little Garden on TikTok saying that to me. I followed her and wanted to be intentional about looking up her videos. That will tie into some of the other videos I want to reference. I have two other videos on TikTok that inspired this episode. Before I get to that though, I have been thinking a lot about my work these days and how it is shifting.

Called Beyond Measure

There are two big projects that I have been diving deeper into. One has been evolving over the past two years and that is called Beyond Measure. It brings me immense joy to share that as of mid-February 2022, I finally set up Beyond Measure for anyone to join. If you don’t know about Beyond Measure yet, it is a private community I created several years ago and it came out of my desire to connect with people on a deeper level. It came out of my frustrations with platforms like YouTube, where I felt two big issues.

One is that I have been using platforms like YouTube and this show as a form of connection and self-expression. A lot of my insecurities about my content come from years of criticism from strangers, people who have come on to my YouTube channels mainly, and written discouraging, critical, mean things, bullying, harassment, and things that have broken my heart caused me to feel insecure and second-guess myself constantly. I never feel good enough.

It triggered all of those things that were already there but those comments and even the thumbs down on YouTube, it felt like I was being harassed. I use this as a relatively loose term but it was a form of harassment and bullying, especially the thumbs-downs. To this day, every time I post a YouTube video, even when there are only a few views on it, there will be a thumbs down and I have imagined or assumed that it is the same 1 or 2 people that are determined to give me thumbs down, which is harassment.

Circle

It has gotten me to the point many times where I did not want to engage at all and that is how Beyond Measure started. I thought, “I would love a safe and supportive place where I would not receive that. Not only for myself but to give that to others.” Several years ago, I found a platform called Circle, which is a community-based platform. I am so deeply grateful for it. I spent so much time trying to find the right place to have this community.

Don't live by coming to consensus. Live by coming to your senses. Click To Tweet

I did not want to do it on the Facebook group. I did not want to do it on social media because I wanted it to be anti-social media. Not to say that I’m against social media but I wanted it to be away from it and protected from that. I wanted it to be truly private. I wanted it to be a place where it would be very hard for trolls to come in.

I probably still need to take some more steps to prevent it but so far, it has remained a safe place. It has been invite-only but as I mentioned, I finally opened it up so anyone can join and I found some ways to protect the community. There are different tiers set up. When you first joined Beyond Measure, you go in to see if it is for you and for me to vet people, to make sure that it is not somebody coming in to be a troll.

You can join the calls. We have weekly calls, every Saturday that sends around all different elements of supporting one another. On February 19th, 2022, we have an accountability session. It is a place to hold space for one another and to get things done. People show up on the calls, talk for a little bit and spend about 20 or 30 minutes doing something that we are procrastinating. We hold that space to be accountable. It does wonders. I love it.

There are always these great stories of people that have gotten things done, myself included. I look forward to that one. It’s because we alternate through different topics, we have sessions that are about finances. We have sessions about general self-care, where everybody shares things that are working well for them.

We occasionally have calls that are a group meal preparation. We did our very first one in January 2022. It was so amazing. Everybody made lasagna and it blew me away. I was not sure what to expect but we collectively voted on a recipe and everybody showed up to the call, which is virtual calls, not on Zoom. It is on Circle’s platform. I was surprised at how fun that was to make things all at once or make things with a group of people virtually. I had never done it before but I ended up making something that I would not normally make and it was incredible.

Beyond Measure has brought me immense joy after doing it for coming up on several years and now you can join, too. It is my big point in bringing this up. My aim is that everybody feels included and not judged. So far, that has been the case. People from all over the country and other countries have joined. One of the most active members is from Canada. I had people from the UK and I’m hoping that we branch out but it is men and women. It is people that do all different things and ages. At the core of Beyond Measure is that everybody is welcome and we are trying not to focus on our differences. We are trying to focus on what we have in common.

My big game and what I think it has become is that everybody feels worthy of being there. Whereas due to some of the things I said at the very beginning of this episode, “A lot of us get caught up in our perceived worthiness.” For me, I get nervous about being judged for my appearance. Are people going to think that I do not look put together? I am months behind publishing videos. I record every single episode and they are all queued up. One of these days, I will put them on YouTube.

If you are reading and wondering why it has not been published on YouTube, it is a bandwidth issue. I have not had the energy to focus on YouTube for this channel. If you do see my videos, I get nervous about being judged for what my hair looks like or my lack of makeup. I get worried that I look heavier than usual or that people are seeing my age, my gray hair, and my clothes. I could go on and on.

The reason I show up with my hair messy, undyed or without makeup most times and try to let go of whatever size my body is on any given time is that it does not matter. My value is beyond measure and you are beyond measure. As Marianne Williamson says, “We are powerful beyond measure.” Part of the inspiration for the name is that I wanted to have a place that embodies that idea of everybody’s value being beyond any possible measurements, whether it is your body size, your gender, your age, your appearance or how much money you make.

Web3 Space

That also has become more important to me, especially as I have been getting involved in the Web3 space. One of these days, I may devote a whole episode to it but I do not fully feel like it is necessary because I have a new show that is all about Web3. If you do not know what Web3 is, it is based around cryptocurrency and NFTs, which are non-fungible tokens. You probably are hearing a lot about it these days, the metaverse and decentralized finance.

If all of those terms feel foreign or confusing to you, that is exactly why I created the show. I started getting involved with Web3 projects in 2021. I was buying some crypto. I’ve got on this platform called Rally. I had launched my own social token. I have my own cryptocurrency economy. I’m interested and passionate about it but everybody in my personal life that I would talk to felt confused about Web3.

MGU 323 | Public Consensus

Public Consensus: Unfortunately, society judges people for being older and even for being young.

 

I found myself unsure how to talk about it, so I decided to launch this daily series. Almost every single day, I have recorded a video and turned that into audio. You can find the link to Beyond Measure and you will also find the link to the Web3 project if you want to check that out. Both are free. There is no money involved with them now.

Eventually, Beyond Measure, I plan to charge something for it. I was thinking of integrating that with my cryptocurrency, which is called the $WELL coin but it has become a little complex. Now, members are being rewarded. Something I’m working on is giving my social token, the $WELL coin, to members of Beyond Measure based on their activity. I found that I can see how active members are within Beyond Measure. I want to reward them for their participation because there are the people that show up to the calls, post things, ask questions and interact with other people. I feel that people should be rewarded for that.

I’m giving away the cryptocurrency to them for that. It is like you earn points with your credit card, Air Miles or any rewards program you are part of. That is what I have been using the $WELL coin for. My $WELL coin is on this platform called Rally, where you can convert that to US dollars or other forms of cryptocurrency.

If it sounds confusing to you, do not worry. You do not have to do anything about it now but these are the things that I cover in my Web3 with Whitney project. It has been immensely rewarding but how that ties into this topic, to get back to the core is that Web3 feels so overwhelming to me, even though I am deep in it.

Something that comes up daily is feeling less than, feeling some of that insecurity and not good enough. People that are in Web3, people that have their own cryptocurrency like me, the social tokens, people that are making NFTs, developing metaverse projects, and all of this stuff like many of my friends and perhaps like you, it feels overwhelming and it is very chaotic.

I spend time on Twitter, which I would recommend to you. I talk about Twitter every day on my Web3 series because I would say that the majority of people that are interested in Web3 are on Twitter. You go on there and it feels to be like being at a big conference. It was in a separate episode in which I talked about how we have been reflecting on what events will feel like for me now that we have been through this pandemic.

I’m planning on going to this big event in March 2022 in Anaheim, California, which I talked about in the Navigating Neurodivergence episode. I’m also planning to go to a Web3 event in May in Arizona. That is part of my Arizona trip that I mentioned. I have been thinking about them a lot because I’m nervous about going to them. The reason I’m nervous is very similar to the reason I feel a lot of inferiority in the Web3 space and Twitter specifically is that I get overwhelmed when there is a ton of information coming at me and a ton of people talking at once.

This also ties into what I said at the beginning, where my brain tends to like things that are concise and/or cohesive. TikTok, for example, I generally like it because I can get information quickly. I can scroll through things that do not interest me fast. I like things like The Little Garden video, which is simple. It gave me a good feeling. I’ve got a message from it and I could move on.

I do not like things that are all over the place, which is weird because I am all over the place creating. How is it that the way that I create is vastly different from what I enjoy consuming? The good news is that in the podcast world, what you like does not need to be what you like to consume. It’s okay and maybe relatable. That ties into conferences because the event that I’m supposed to go to in March 2022 is the Natural Products Trade Show.

I get uncomfortable just thinking about that event. I talked about a few episodes back about how it is going to be very different for me in 2022, not only because of COVID-19 but because I’m recognizing my neurodivergence for the first time. I’m noticing how anxious I get, how uncomfortable I feel, and how hard it is for my brain to process that many people at once. How tough it is for me to be in chaotic spaces where there is so much going on, many people and so much information to take in. Even the bright lights in those spaces, the noises, and for me, I’m very sensitive. The noise causes so much anxiety and stress to them.

I’m grateful that I understand that now because I pushed it away so much. When things move at a fast pace, I feel anxious because I like slow things and calmness. As I mentioned a few episodes back, it has been interesting reflecting on like, “Why have I gone to all these events in the past? Why do I now spend so much time on Twitter when it feels chaotic? Why do I feel insecure and unworthy in those places?” I’m still figuring that out.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. Click To Tweet

Why is that ongoing? I rarely feel like I fit in and I am good enough but those are also qualities of someone who is neurodivergent. That is why the self-testing, the reflection, and the research I have done about neurodivergence has been helpful because it explains it. I do not naturally fit in because being neurodivergent means that you are not neuro-typical.

When you do not feel like you fit in, you are going to feel like an outsider, different, and maybe even insecure. There are also benefits to being different. It makes you stand out. The times when I feel comfortable, it is like I’m embracing the fact that I’m different. I’m seeing that as an advantage and going back to what The Little Garden said.

If I can continue to accept wherever I’m at and embrace all the discomfort, as is the mission of this show, it helps me feel more secure there, but I have to constantly find my balance and ground myself. I have noticed that a lot on Twitter. Another good metaphor for this is moving to a new town as a teenager or going to college in a different state. In my case, I grew up in Massachusetts and also went to college in Massachusetts. It wasn’t a new city. I went to school in Boston but it felt different for me because I had never been to that college before.

I had been to colleges. I studied Film Production at college and maybe Twitter is bringing up all these past emotional traumas of being excited about filmmaking. I had been making short films for years. That is why I went to film school. I wanted to work in that industry. It is similar to now, how I have been dabbling in Web3 stuff for a little while and I feel this is going to be a big part of my career.

When I go into Twitter, it reminds me of stepping onto my college campus for the first time and seeing all these other people that have the same interest and passion. They are all strangers and I’m thinking, “I’m no longer a big fish in a small pond. I’m a small fish in a big pond.” Another example of that is I was one of the only people at my high school who was making short movies. I was known as a filmmaker in my high school at the time.

This was before iPhones. I brought in my camcorder and very few people even had camcorders at that time. I would walk around school, shooting these short films and nobody else was doing it. I felt cool. I liked that difference of me. I felt the sense of like, “I’m the only one. This makes me special and unique.” When I’ve got to film school, I was like, “I am not unique at all. Everybody is doing the same thing.” That is how I feel about Twitter and other elements of Web3.

I’m like, “In my personal life, I’m one of the only people I know doing Web3 projects but on Twitter, everybody seems to be doing Web3.” The way that I tend to cope in those environments is to make friends. The more I think about it, it relates to going to these conferences. At this moment, I’m realizing that it was fascinating. Maybe that is part of where the anxiety is.

College Experiences

When I go to the Natural Products Expo, I feel a sense of excitement because I’m around my people. These people understand me and get it. I’m also around all these other people that are interested in doing the same things. I’m constantly presented with people who seem to be doing it better just like in college, entering into that space where there are tons of talented filmmakers. I felt less confident about myself because suddenly, I could not be the best by default of being the only one.

I now was in this pool of a ton of other people that did the same and similar things as me. Some of them seem to be a heck of a lot better at it than me or a lot more experienced. Now that I’m reflecting on it, I remember my freshman year of college there was this group that I joined. It was called Frames Per Second, FPS. I don’t know if a group is the right term but it was a filmmaker’s group within my college.

I joined it. I was excited to go to film school. I wanted to hit the ground running because my thought was, “If I can be successful in college, I will be successful in the film industry. In my first week of college, I joined this group and that led me to this short film. I’m pretty sure the first short film I worked on was where I met my first college, I do not know if he was ever a boyfriend but we dated for a few months or so. In college and high school, that feels such a long time. All of these memories are flooding back.

It is making me laugh for a few different reasons because I dreamt about this guy coming seemingly at random. I dreamt about him. Maybe the reason he showed up in my dreams was that Web3 is reminding me of my freshman year of college, which did not even occur to me until this recording. I’m laughing because this guy asked me out on a date. I had never gone on a date before. I barely dated anyone because in high school, I grew up in a small town and nobody seemed that interested in me because everybody grew up with each other.

MGU 323 | Public Consensus

Public Consensus: There are so many negative experiences in the film industry because people tend to be valued based on superficial metrics alone.

 

It seemed like the guys in my school were only interested in new girls that moved to town or transferred in. Those were always like the cool girls to date. I was that girl that know most of my classmates since we were in preschool or kindergarten. That is as small of a town I grew up in. To my recollection, the first guy that showed interest in me had transferred into my school. Any other guy in that high school experience was someone I met outside of school somehow.

I did not have a lot of dating experience and it wasn’t until my senior year. I’m going on a major tangent but I feel people like stories like this. I’m going to assume you want to hear this. My first kiss was with the guy I met while visiting my cousins in Ohio. It was a cool first kiss story. Send me a message if you want to know. I will tell the first kiss story in a separate episode if at least one of you reaches out and asks for it. I want to know what do you want to know. Do you even care about this?

My second kiss was with a guy I met while doing a film program in New York City. He is the whole reason I went vegan. He had a huge ripple effect on my life. I still know him but we had a falling out as friends and that is a whole other story if you ever want to hear it. I mentioned him on the Plant-Powered People Podcast. Even though I’m going in a lot of different directions, it all ties back into each other. That was my second kiss.

My third kiss was with this guy I met at a gym near the town that I grew up. The fourth guy that I kissed and went on my very first official date. He took me out to a restaurant, and that was my freshman year of college. What is interesting about him is he became a successful filmmaker. Part of the reason I dreamt about him is I was randomly watching TV or something and saw a trailer for a new movie. He was in the credits as a producer. I do not even remember what movie it was but it had some big actors in it.

I went to a good film school, so a number of people that I went to college with became very successful in the film industry. That whole story came out of me going into this film group. The reason I thought about that is that I remember there was this one guy that was a few years older than me. He was the filmmaker. Everybody at school was like, “This guy is cool and good.” I worked on one of his films eventually.

I remember him coming across so in his ego. He could care less about me because I was some freshman. Also, the treatment I have so much in the film industry, in general, not in college, but throughout my work in film. I have experienced people that disregard me because I’m young, a woman or they perceive me as inexperienced because I do not have this huge resume on IMDb or whatever. That was my general experience.

The reason I do not work in film anymore, to be honest, Jason and I did an episode about this on this show. I mentioned there are many negative experiences because people in these industries tend to value you based on many superficial metrics. That ties back into exactly why I started Beyond Measure or one of the reasons in addition to my bad experiences with harassment and stuff on the internet.

I also have experienced so much judgment based on my superficial measurements of who I am. I do not think anybody should have to go through it. That is an awful element of humanity and that is why Web3 has been a bit of a challenge because it is putting me back in that cycle that I have been through many times. It is putting me back in the experience of entering college as a freshman and feeling like I do not know anyone. Everybody is judging me for being new or disregarding and ignoring me because I’m new and I’m young. I have always hated that feeling.

When I was a kid, my mom would notice how I was so eager to grow up. She was like, “Why do you want to be older?” I always wanted to be a different age. That is interesting now because I’m at a stage where I feel insecure about getting older because, unfortunately, our society judges us for being older but our society also judges us for being young. They associate young people with a lack of experience or knowledge. Ageism is bizarre to me on many levels.

My point being is that since I was a little kid, I wanted to be a different age and that is because I wanted to feel respected, important, and be taken seriously. That was frustrating at the beginning of college. It is also interesting because I went through college and I do not feel like I became more respected for being a sophomore.

Proving Yourself

Even those titles like junior and senior are used in work environments. I remember when I moved out to Los Angeles and started working in the film industry, you constantly had to prove yourself in every job and social situation. That is also why going back to the conferences, I dread them because every interaction at a conference is about proving yourself.

It is sickening and exhausting to prove yourself to others your whole life. Click To Tweet

My work in this industry in social media is always about proving yourself. How many followers do you have? What content have you created? How many people listen or watch? All of this has been about proving. How exhausting is it to live your whole life trying to prove yourself as I have? I’m sick of it but yet, here I am, back in Web3 as a newbie, feeling like I have to prove myself. Am I a glutton for punishment or is that how life works? Maybe life can work that way but you can choose to opt-out of it.

Here is the message. I have come to the conclusion of what if you opt-out of proving yourself and go back to The Little Garden’s recommendation. I want to know her name. I’m going to look this up in real-time because I feel bad referring to her. Jan, it is so funny, the name Jan, I associate with women her age. I feel like that must have been such a popular name. I have no idea exactly how old she is. I would guess in the 70s or 80s.

I am looking at the titles of her video. One of them is Don’t Fear Criticism. I wonder if you will feel the same way. Can you message me and let me know? I would love to know. Do you want to know any of my first kiss stories? Telling those personal stories is a little outside my comfort zone but I will do it if you ask for it. Will you tell me if you go watch Jan O’Kelley in, @The_LittleGarden account?

Her website is TheLittleGarden.org, and she has A Course In Miracle teacher, which makes sense why I like her. For those that do not know, Marianne Williamson, who I referenced before in terms of Beyond Measure, is a practicer. Jan is based in Sedona. I have a deep love for this woman and I barely know her.  This is the power of things and this is exactly why ageism is so silly because some people might look at Jan’s content and be like, “She is an ‘old woman.’ What value does she have?” She has so much wisdom. She gives me comfort. I want more Jans in my life. There is much value in people of all ages, kids, babies, teenagers, and all these different age ranges. We all have value.

I generally find myself leaning towards a comforting older person like Jan because I feel like you have the perspective that you can give me. That doesn’t mean you are more valuable. I’m just drawn to that but it is so sad that societally, we are told, especially as women over and over again that we lose value when we get older. That’s silly.

I want to be a Jan. I want to be Marianne Williamson. She followed me in my, @EcoVeganGal account. This was years ago. I do not even know why, honestly. It could have been her or someone that works for her. I have no clue but somehow, Marianne Williamson is following me. Last I checked, she still was after all these years. That is the most awesome thing because Marianne Williamson is incredible.

When I see people like her, Brené Brown, who I mentioned in the last episode, and Elizabeth Gilbert, these women who are older than me and sharing all this wisdom. I love how Elizabeth Gilbert never looks like she was wearing makeup and she was doing her thing. I love that. That is the type of person I am but I’m afraid of being judged.

The episode that I listened to of Glennon was recommended by my friend, Leanne, who was a guest on the show. We did the big road trip together. The one and only time I went to Sedona, Arizona, where Jan lives, was with Leanne on our road trip. It feels like everything I bring up now is somehow connected.  Isn’t that interesting how I started this episode thinking everything was going to be all over the place but truly everything has been connected in one way or another?

Even my first date back in college was somehow connected to all this. Leanne suggested that I listen to this episode of Glennon Doyle’s show with Martha Beck. Martha was on two episodes but I think it’s the second episode. She talks about the consensus and how so many of us look to the consensus before making a decision or to make a decision, we go to the consensus. She said, “Instead of focusing on the consensus, focus on your senses.” Come to your senses. I could barely do justice in everything that they talked about but that was the line that Leanne said to me that made me listen to that episode. It is so good.

Part of what makes it so good is it is Glennon. Her wife, Abby, is on the show. I feel like Glennon’s sister might be on this episode, too. Maybe there are four of them talking total because Martha was there, too. She is so good. You hear these women talking about how their lives and perspectives have shifted and how they had tuned inwards even when their decisions and their instincts went against the consensus.

Everything Is Okay

The big lesson here is that it is all okay. Everything that we are doing is okay. Even if it feels like we are an outcast, that is okay. It is also a big lesson in that episode. Anytime I start to doubt myself and second guess my work, I try to show up on this show because if I can inspire one person who read in the way that Glennon and Jan inspired me, that is enough.

MGU 323 | Public Consensus

Public Consensus: Always desire to connect with people and offer a safe space where nobody has to prove themselves. Everyone must be considered as innately worthy and valuable.

 

Even if I do not inspire anyone or if you unsubscribe from my show. In the past, that has brought me so much pain when people unsubscribe and unfollow. I place so much attachment to that. It doesn’t matter though because at the end of the day, what I’m doing is ultimately for me because it is based on my senses. It doesn’t have to line up with a consensus and there are enough people who have found value in the work that I do to keep me going. That is so huge.

That is why I want to know from you and I love to have you in the Beyond Measure community. I have not charged at all for Beyond Measure. It costs me money. Every month I’m losing money on Beyond Measure. It’s not that much. It doesn’t cost a lot to run it but I spend probably about five hours a month working on it and some money running it. I have not charged anyone because, at the root, that is not why I do Beyond Measure.

Beyond Measure always come out of this deep desire to connect with people and offer a safe space where nobody feels like they have to prove themselves because everybody in Beyond Measure is innately, worthy and valuable. People that I have invited into Beyond Measure, given that it has been an invite-only process thus far, and every person I have invited have said something to me along the lines of, “I do not know what value I have to share with the group or I’m too shy. I do not feel comfortable.”

Everybody who has shown up consistently to Beyond Measure has added value beyond measure, truly. It blows my mind how these people feel insecure about their appearances. They have told me this or are insecure that they do not have anything to add or have apologized. People have cried on the calls and written me. They said, “I’m so sorry for crying.” I’m like, “You do not understand.” Some of the most powerful calls that we had with Beyond Measure have been because somebody cried. I do not want to encourage someone to cry but it’s the ripple effect.

I remember those calls vividly because it is that connection you feel to someone when they are vulnerable enough to cry in front of you that is one of the greatest gifts. There are people that have come and gone from Beyond Measure. I miss them like friends. There are a few people in particular. Maybe one of you is reading that I deeply miss. I’m trying to respect them and be like, “Now, they do not want to be part of Beyond Measure. That is okay,” but I miss them. My heart aches for them because of how much I have connected to them through Beyond Measure.

If I had it my way, I would want every single reader of this show to be in Beyond Measure because I want to know you. Granted, if everybody who reads this joined Beyond Measure, it probably would not even give that opportunity for me to get to know you. It would be too many people. The downside to having a large group is that you do not get to connect. The plus side now is Beyond Measure is small and intimate. I hope it never gets big because I want it to feel intimate. If it does get big, I will find a way to keep it intimate somehow. That was my aim.

I do not know what beyond measure will be or become evolved into. Now, I cherish the small group conversations and I would love to have you be part of it. It’s at WhitneyLauritsen.com/beyond-measure. When you get to the landing page, it is not listed there yet but once you click into WhitneyLauritsen.com, it is at the top in the menu bar. There are only four options there. You can learn about me, find Beyond Measure, Web3 and there is a Media Page that I have.

Regardless of how you find it or you can message me. I know it is hard to find things sometimes, no matter how hard I try. It is on my website and you can also reach out to me via email or direct message and I will send you any link you need. I’m also going to link to Jan’s website and her TikTok account. I hope you check it out. If you do, let me know if she resonates with you.

Thank you so much for reading. I appreciate you being part of the journey. It feels like a journey every episode and it means the world to me that you read because anyone who is reading the blog post holds space for me in a deep and meaningful way. I hope that it adds value to you and I want to hold space for you over at Beyond Measure. That is my way of giving back and that was it for now. Until next time.

I have somebody that I have not yet recorded with. It was cool when that happened. I’m like, “What will it be like?” I have interacted with this person through email only and this person sounds wonderful. You are in store for something great, I assume, based on that interaction. Subscribe if you want to be notified of that episode. If you have any suggestions for topics, I would love to know them, too. Until then, I’m wishing you all the very best with your overall well-being and your journey. As Jan says, “It is all okay. This is all part of your inner awakening.” Take a deep breath and know that everything is truly okay.

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