People can have many hang-ups when it comes to intimacy and sex. But you can have the sex you want, as long as you’re open and willing to explore with your partner. In this episode, we tackle sexual intimacy and the joy of connection as our hosts, Jason Wrobel and Whitney Lauritsen, sit down for a chat with Susan Bratton, a renowned intimacy expert. Susan discusses how intimacy, love and sexuality are linked and talks about technology’s impact on sex. We also get to learn some practical techniques to help further couple’s intimacy. A great episode for those looking to improve their sex lives or looking to regain the spark in their relationships.
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How To Have The Sex You Want
What’s Holding You Back From Intimate Connection
We are excited about our guest because this is a subject matter that we have only skimmed the surface if at all on this show, which is about sex and sexuality, which some of our guests have touched upon. One element of this that I’m especially excited to explore amongst many elements of our sexuality as sexual human beings is age. Susan, when I was reflecting on what I was most interested to hear your thoughts on, I wanted to hear more about how age plays a role in our sex lives. We hear a little bit about the cliché elements of how our bodies and our sex drive changes when we get older. We hear a lot about the gender stereotypes around what men want, what women want at different cycles. I’m at a point where I’m questioning some of those things.
I’m curious about your experience and what you are learning in 2021. I would imagine that there are a lot of outdated information. As a woman, ageism comes up a lot. Although Jason has spoken about ageism for himself, too. He has concerns that I didn’t even realize men had concerns about. Perhaps all genders and whatever somebody identifies as there’s a concern around how our bodies change when we age. We have shame, fears and questions.You're going to get old and wrinkled and die, but you can have the best sexier life as an old fart. Click To Tweet
Our bodies are naturally shifting throughout our entire lives. Certainly, that impacts our sexuality. You use the term ageless, which brings me a lot of comforts. Even though we are going to get into some uncomfortable things, I also hope that we get into some comforting tidbits of wisdom that you have to share. I want to know what ageless sexuality means for you, what you have been discovering over the years and if there are any myths to bust about how age plays a role in our sexuality.
I have good news for you. You are going to get old, wrinkled and die but you can have the best sex of your life as an old fart. Sex keeps getting better your whole life long if you are someone who values your sexuality and someone who is a lifelong learner. There are two sides to sex. One is the mental and one is the physical. The mental, all of the old paradigms were, “Sex is over after menopause. Old people don’t have sex. Old people having sex is disgusting,” whatever it might be. There was the other piece of it, which is your connection to yourself and how you feel about yourself as a sexual person.
I don’t work one-on-one with people. What I do is I run two companies and I’m the face of the brand. The first company that I run is a publishing company. For over fifteen years, we have published passionate lovemaking techniques and bedroom communication skills. The other company I run is a supplement company and we manufacture blood flow supplements, libido vitamins and minerals. What I learned when I started was that there are people who need to go to therapists because they have an issue with their sexuality. It could have been trauma or what have you.
What I saw in the world was that most people are operating at a low level of knowledge about sexuality. They don’t know the techniques. They don’t understand their anatomy. They don’t have communication skills. They are getting most of their information from mainstream media and pornography, which are the two worst places to get information. My first order of business was to help people transform having sex into making love. My brand stands for heart-connected, passionate lovemaking. It’s non-transactional and it’s not informed by the world outside. It teaches people to look for their desires within themselves.
What I found is that if you take 100 random people, only fifteen of them are willing to fight for their sex life. They are oriented toward personal development. They are learning-based. They know that when they learn new things, they get better at stuff, including sex. It surprised me that it wasn’t a larger number. It is what it is. All I can do is help the people who want to be helped who say, “I like sex. There’s something there for me. I could maybe try some new things. I love when it’s good. How do I have it be good all the time? How do I find that partner that satisfies me? How do I find pleasure myself? I’m going to pursue this. I’m going to learn about things. I’m hungry for information.”
That 15% of people, when they think about themselves and their movement through their life, they are always trying to do better. They are trying to have better sex, to work on improving their health, to expand their consciousness and give more back to the universe. They are people who have that growth mindset and gift mindset. Those people tend to be attracted to passionate lovemaking techniques. They want to have a deep sense of intimacy. They want to go into ecstatic states. They want to have the joy of connection. They want to know how to feel good about their body and its imperfectness. They are looking for that. That’s where I live and is the opportunity that we all have but that only some of us will take.
One of the things that I know you are passionate about as well as how technology has impacted lovemaking, sexuality, intimacy. It feels like Millennials, Gen X, Gen Z, perhaps all of the living generations or generations that had been around for online dating. It’s fascinating to me because it seems like it’s often taking shortcuts. We have talked about this on the show, Jason. It was in that episode we did about the book Alone Together, which gets into our use of technology, social media and how many of us are lonely. We look to technology to satisfy ourselves. To your point, the satisfaction element of sexuality.
I often wonder, especially with the younger generations, are they being conditioned to seek personal satisfaction whereas it’s interrupting the ability to connect? In my mind, I associate older generations with intimacy. It seems like the younger generations might be struggling and I wonder if that’s because of the role of technology. Do you find that to be true, Susan? It’s a big generalization but what have you discovered with clients and research in terms of how different generations are exploring their sexuality and perceiving intimacy?
The younger generation is incredible. I am happy to leave the Earth to them because they are for gender equality and gender expression. I see everything moving in the right direction. I love that they embrace technology. Technology can make it good. If you think about the old days when the Boomers were coming of age and starting to date and have sex, we didn’t have easy STI tests available through Planned Parenthood. We didn’t even understand what conscious connection was. We didn’t have apps that allowed us to zero in on the things that we are most interested in.
As you mature, what you want in your twenties is the opportunities for exploration. You want to have experienced. In your 30s, you are starting to settle into who you are a little bit more. Many people want to get married and have kids. This can happen at all ages. This is a generalization. In your 40s, your kids are starting to get on their feet if you have had them and you are getting a little more time for yourself. You are beginning to sense your own mortality. This is the 15% I’m talking about, the ones that care about their sexuality. They are starting to think about, “I have never explored my G-spot. I’m having stamina trouble. I’m not as firm as I used to be.”
By the time you get into your 50s, you are like, “I better use it because I’m going to lose it.” You are of the mindset of, “There are sexual regenerative treatments. I could go get GAINSWave and firm up my erection. I could go get a FemiWave or an O-shot or use a vFit to bring back the sensation that I have lost with the atrophy of aging. Do you mean penis pumps work to reverse ED? That’s interesting.” You can start to become aware of the things that you can do to keep your body in good shape so that you can keep making love.
By the time you are in your 60s, you know a little bit about having sex. You are probably a pretty good love maker. If you have kept your body in good shape, you have the time and the interest to start to develop some orgasmic practices together like expanded orgasm practices, learning female ejaculation or becoming a multi-orgasmic man. There are things you can explore in that way. You might also decide, “We are stable in our relationship. We want to get a girlfriend or get into a polycule with several partners, make love together and explore that.” There’s so much exploration that’s going on in the world.
By the time you are 70 and 80, you are happy you are still having sex, you are doing it, it’s still a lot of fun and it’s a big part of your life even to those ages. I have a couple of fans in their 90s who are still together and even a couple of them that make love multiple times a week. By making love, I don’t necessarily always mean penis and vagina intercourse. Making love is a big palette of what creates an intimate connection for people.People are really finding what they like and having fun in ways they never were before. It's just getting better. Click To Tweet
The younger generation has many fantastic assets that are available to them that the older generation didn’t have. That sexuality is exploding. Sexual expression is exploding. Things people want to try are exploding. The smorgasbord of sexual possibility is such a rich soup now. I am thrilled about the future of sexuality, sex tech, digital aspects of it, sex toys, sex policies, procedures, boundaries, agreements, poly, open, lifestyles and swingers. People are finding what they like and having fun in ways they never were before. It’s getting better.
There are many things I want to ask you, Susan. It feels like you took our hand and we are going deep down this well-lubricated rabbit hole and there are so many other tunnels. In terms of our sexuality, I have heard terminology regarding nature versus nurture. In terms of people phrasing, “I’m wired for monogamy and polyamory,” versus seeing that people explore different things throughout their entire life and that they are not particularly hard-wired toward one particular expression.
Let’s get uncomfortable for a second. In your work and your personal life, what is your belief around people being “wired” versus perhaps experiences, curiosity, and experimenting imprinting our sexual desires and those things changing throughout one’s life? How do you feel about that? Are we inherently wired toward a specific type of sexual expression or a container of monogamy? Is that learned behavior that we could unlearn and then experiment with different things?
All of it is learned behavior. Poly is a learned behavior. You never even knew what it was until you heard it. Some people were like, “That’s interesting. Tell me more about that. What’s the difference between open and poly?” Awareness is the key and not being afraid of information and being open to what people are interested in. There are a lot of fetishes and turn-ons. There are explosions in BDSM, kink and all kinds of arrangements in gender slipperiness if you will. What’s great about sex is that if you are the person who wants to continue to evolve in the sexuality of your life, in that category of your life, then there’s always more.
The great thing about sex is that it is a gift that keeps on giving. It’s like learning how to cook. Food is wonderful. There are always new recipes, cuisines and taste profiles. It’s the same thing. If you like to eat and you enjoy cooking, you are always going to check out cookbooks and cooking shows, and want to know about restaurants. It’s the same thing with sexuality. It’s an area of interest and you have some level of openness to certain things. As you mature, you might say to yourself, “At twenty, I would never like to be spanked because that’s degrading to women. I don’t know why anyone would want to be in pain.” When you are 40, you are like, “That felt good when you smack my ass. What the hell is that? I’m turned on by that. I will masturbate to that fantasy now.” Your appetites change and evolve if you allow them to and you are open to it.
Many couples open their relationship and then close their relationship. In this big tree of what you would consider being ethically non-monogamous, which has branches on it like poly, open, lifestyle, etc. you will see that many people and/or couples go through many iterations of agreements based on becoming more comfortable with it. It’s like, “We are going to a party but we are only going to be together.” Now it’s like, “Maybe we will go with this other couple. Maybe we will do make-outs with each other.” If you allow yourself, you are constantly evolving and opening to possibility and seeing things that might turn you on.
I’m a Millennial and I often am fascinated by Gen Z culture, especially its dominance on some of the social media platforms that I’m on. There does seem to be a lot of openness and the way that they express themselves on social media is open when it comes to sexuality. Certainly, all the different forms of expression and choices or natural inclinations to who somebody wants to be with. There was a celebrity that I saw discussed on TikTok that sexuality seems fluid and that’s becoming acceptable.
To your point, it’s a different way of looking at it because maybe some people grew up in older generations with their blinders on. Maybe they felt something about themselves that they didn’t feel like they were free to express. It is exciting to see that freedom and that exploration happening. It’s hard to say with the younger generations too because they are young. The oldest Gen Z is 24 years old and there’s still so much developing within themselves. Who knows what they will become? From my perception, they are trying to figure out their identities but they feel free.
One thing that came up for me as I was thinking about what feels exciting is when I was in my teens but more aware of it in my twenties, I was interested in things like sex toys. I remember being fairly young. Before the internet was as accessible as it is now, there were magazines where you could order sex toys. I was like, “That would feel good.” It’s not accessible. I can’t go order it privately. My parents would have to find out. I’m like, “How am I going to pay for this thing?” It felt expensive.
Now we have so much development with sex toys that give somebody the chance to privately explore their body or explore with a partner. A new store opened up down the street from me. I’m curious about it. I can walk in and feel confident about it. That’s something I didn’t even notice until the past years. It’s something that not only did I feel personally confident with but I was evolving to feel more confident because I saw other people feeling confident about it. That’s exciting.
I do a lot of primary research because I have a large following and they love to take my surveys. I’m appreciative of that, too. One of the things that couples rank themselves low or poor at is incorporating sex toys into lovemaking. We are at this place where most women have a vibrator or a couple of vibrators. Women are becoming aware of their G-spots. By the way, it’s not a spot. It’s a long, spongy tube that goes up from the roof of the vagina up into the bladder. More and more people are open to anal pleasure. There’s a perineal sponge between the vaginal canal and the rectum that loves stimulation. Women are realizing that their clitoris isn’t a little tip, a little nub that has little arms and little legs.
What I spend a lot of time talking to people about is that a woman has as much erectile tissue in her vulva as her male body partner does in his penis. Think about a banana and imagine that’s a penis. Half the banana sticks out of a man’s body from his abdomen out in what you would think of as his penis. His penis is twice as big as that, almost. Everybody is a little different but let’s call it 50/50 or it might be 60/40. 40% to 50% of his penis is inside his body and goes down toward his testicles. All of it is filled with erectile tissue. Take that same amount of erectile tissue, get out your little scales, put the penis erectile tissue on one scale, and then you would have the same amount of tissue from a woman’s vulva on the other side of the scale and it would balance out. We can’t see it because 95% of it is buried.
The tip of the clitoris isn’t even erectile tissue. It’s a nerve-ending location, the shaft, the arms, the legs, the urethral sponge, the peritoneal sponge. The vagina itself is wrapped, embraced in erectile tissue. Women don’t think about ED, loss of sensation, inability to get erect, not having enough stimulation to achieve pleasure. If you think about a man, he’s not going to have sex if his penis is flaccid. It’s not going to feel as good for him. He wants an erection. Women have sex constantly without a full erection. They don’t give themselves time.Awareness is the key and not being afraid of information and being open to what people are interested in. Click To Tweet
Men have this benefit of this thing called hemodynamics. It sounds like a man thing. It almost sounds like a superhero. His corpus spongiosum and his corpus cavernosum fill up fast. He’s got a hard-on. For women, it’s more like an English muffin with lots of nooks and crannies that need to get filled in with the butter of turn on. It takes us longer to get our whole vulva erect. If you think about a flaccid penis, make your banana small, it’s only going to have so much surface area. When it’s erect, it’s way bigger and it has way more surface area.
What’s the number one sex organ? It’s the brain. When you are erect, you get more signals of pleasure to the brain. That’s where you are getting the turn on and the feeling of pleasure. If we as women are having sex without an erection, we are not getting the pleasure we need. Many women think, “I’m not the woman who can have an orgasm from intercourse.” Their male body partner is, “You can’t.” That’s wrong. They are rushing sex and she’s not getting enough genital stimulation, manual stimulation, oral pleasuring, vibrations and all that, to get her vulva plumped up, fluffed and engorged. It’s called engorgement.
If I do anything in this world, it’s to make people aware that the vulva owners need more engorgement before they are going to get the sexual satisfaction that they deserve. They call it the orgasm gap. How easy it is for a guy to have an orgasm during intercourse versus a woman. She struggles, it’s easy for him and they both think it’s her fault. It’s no fault of their own for that. If she can get engorged, she can begin to cross the gasm-chasm. She can close that gap. She can start to cum without even touching the tip of her clitoris because it’s wrapped in erectile tissue.
The things that I tell guys are, number one, women want you well-groomed. Number two, they want you present and not strategizing, and figuring out, which buttons to push and knobs to turn. They want you to slow down because you are fast as the masculine, you are already full of testosterone. That’s the hormone of sex. When women are like, “I don’t want sex. My hormones must be low.” I’m like, “The only one that would be low would be testosterone. It’s not your estrogen.” It’s not even about that. It’s about blood flow. It’s about getting the blood pumping to the genitals, getting the turn on going. Understanding that women have these slow little stairs they need to climb. A guy needs to turn around, come back, meet her where she is and move her forward if he can do that with her. Most people are heterosexual monogamous partners. The most important piece of advice I could give anybody about developing their sexuality is that if you want to have great sex, it starts with the physiology of engorgement.
Statistically, is that true that most couples are heterosexual?
Most couples are heterosexual, monogamous. That’s the big bell curve. They are not bringing sex toys into the bedroom. They could bring some nice vibrators and get all that tissue vibrating and bringing blood flow. Women could self-pleasure more often with all these great toys. My husband and I made love and the first thing he did was he gave me a long sensual Yoni massage. We then took a break. He gave me a whole bunch of orgasms and he warmed my vulva up. I laid back against him and he played with my breasts and gave me nipplegasms while I had a vibrator on my clitoris. We then had intercourse. I wanted to stimulate my vulva even more. We had intercourse and I’ve got on top of him and rode him. I have been enjoying cowgirl. I didn’t use to know how to get myself off doing cowgirl. Now I do and I want to do it to him all the time. I’m having fun with it. That was our lovemaking date. It’s different every time we do it. It’s whatever occurs to us.
A lot of women say, “I don’t know what I want but I know what I’m getting isn’t it. I don’t want to hurt my partner’s ego by saying I don’t like what they are doing. I can’t express my dissatisfaction because I don’t have a better alternative. It must be me. I must be slow. I probably can’t cum. It hard to have orgasms.” None of that is true. It’s what you use as compensating mechanisms to take on the blame. In fact, you know what you need. Everything that you want is inside you. Your body wisdom will tell you in every moment what she or he wants, depending on how you look at your gender.
Your sex is either XX or XY. You are a penis owner or a vulva owner. Your gender expression is different. You are stuck with the equipment and you are stuck with them. They work a certain way and they work differently even though they are the same parts arranged in a different order. That hemodynamics and the testosterone that the boys got, they’ve got a little competitive edge on that. What’s interesting is people always say, “Women can cum so much and men can only cum one time.”
One more limited thinking thing that I want to eradicate from the universe’s perspective is men are as massively multi-orgasmic as women are. They conflate ejaculation and orgasm because they think that’s how it works. That’s not how it works. Ejaculation and orgasm are separate systems in the body. You can learn how to decouple them and start having full-body orgasms like women do. Men don’t even like their nipples touched half the time. They are also massively orgasmic. I’m writing an article about the twenty kinds of male and the twenty kinds of female orgasm to give people a better understanding of what the awareness is so they can have the potential.
I want to go on record by saying I am a guy who has sensitive nipples and loves them being played with. You talk about stereotypes and conditioning, Susan. Something we talk about ad nauseam here on the show is how do we liberate ourselves and live a life that is authentic to us. A big part of that is deconditioning ourselves from all of the programmings we have been discussing. I love my nipples being played with. It’s one of the most amazing things ever. That has been a learning curve for certain partners of mine where they are like, “This is weird. What do you mean you want your nipples licked, touched and played with?” I’m like, “I love it.” It’s something they are simply not used to. There’s a fence, an alarm system, a couple of Dobermans, “Don’t come near the nips.” I’m like, “There are no Dobermans. Let’s go. Gobble them up.”
You talk about the multi-orgasmic capability. Sometime in my late twenties, I didn’t have a frame of reference for it. I’m getting these convulsions, energetic charges, sparks. I feel things moving up my spine but I’m not ejaculating. I didn’t even know what it was. To that point, over the years with partners who were willing and open to exploring these things, I was working with breathing techniques, working with consciously moving the energy. In some ways, there would be certain lovemaking sessions where I would do seminal retention. I would choose not to ejaculate but have a non-ejaculatory orgasm. What I noticed in certain moments with different partners is they would assume that I wasn’t satisfied because I didn’t ejaculate. They are like, “Are you okay? Can I take care of you? Is everything okay?” It’s like, “I feel amazing.” Having to try and assure them that because I didn’t ejaculate, I was satisfied coming away from the experience. It’s interesting all the levels of communication, dispelling certain myths.
Susan, I want to open up this idea of the nuances and the complexities that if we feel our partner isn’t satisfied, the emotional dynamics are interlaced in that because then certain fears can come up. Let’s say I’m trying and engaged but somehow, I perceived my partner is unsatisfied, which can bring up a whole litany of fears around abandonment and being left. I have found that it’s a complicating thing this idea of wanting to please our partners, wanting to be connected to them, and the fears and frustrations if we feel we are not.Everything in sexuality is on a big Bell curve, but it's fun to explore. Click To Tweet
Verbal reassurance is such an important part of lovemaking. You do feel insecure. I have been with my husband for over 30 years. I have been making love with him for over 30 years. That guy knows where all my buttons are. There are still times that I still ask him, “Am I making you happy? Are you satisfied? Is there anything that you would like to do that we are not doing? How was that cowgirl for you?” I wrote a book called Dirty Talk. I wish I didn’t have to call it that because I don’t think it’s dirty. It was five ways to talk dirty without feeling weird. It’s at DirtyTalkBook.com. If you want to download it, it’s free. I have written over 40 sex techniques. I give away a lot of stuff because people have to learn to trust you. They have to know who you are, which I appreciate you having me on the show. They have to like what you have to say. They trust you and then they are like, “Tell me more. You seem to know a lot about this hot sex stuff.”
When I wrote Dirty Talk, I thought, “That’s what people call it.” I don’t like the word because it’s not dirty, especially the sensual talk and encouragement that I recommend, things like Yoni worship. Yoni being the tantric lovemaking word for a woman’s genitals. A man’s penis is called the Lingam. Those are nice words. Worshiping the Lingam and Yoni is beautiful. I love the way it looks. It’s full of pink life. I love the little dark edges of the labia. “I can see how you are getting wetter. Everything looks full. It’s making my mouth water when I look at you.” Saying things like that are nice to hear. “Your Lingam is gorgeous. I love these veins. It looks like you are straining with your desire for me. I love the little helmet you have. I love that you are circumcised or you are not circumcised. Your balls look beautiful to me. Thank you for shaving and manscaping. It makes me want to take all of you in.” Whatever you say.
It’s nice when you are looking at your partner, their body, their parts and you appreciate them and you are thinking it. If you don’t say it, you leave so much pleasure on the table. I wanted to teach people and give them, word by word, things they could say that they could memorize so that they could get them in their body and be able to say them in the heat of the moment. Even if it wasn’t something they made up, I don’t care. Take this stuff I wrote for you. Here you go. That’s a place to start and then you can begin the flow of conversation.
There are three kinds of lovers. Some people are either auditory, visual or kinesthetic in what’s called the theta brainwave state, which is the brainwave state of everything from meditation to orgasm. It’s our unconscious state of mind. We have our subconscious state of mind and we have our conscious state of mind. It’s a beta state, an alpha state and a theta state. There’s also a gamma state. The theta state, for some people, gets turned on if they are auditory. They get turned on with, “I love it when you coo. I love your moans. I love to hear your sloppy blowjob.” Some people are visual, “I love to look at you in lingerie. I want to look in your eyes when I cum. Let’s make love in front of the mirror doggy style so I can see your face and your butt.”
There are the kinesthetic people who are like, “Turn off the lights. Keep the music low. Let me feel my way through the process.” You will tend to end up with someone who’s not of your theta state. When you are with someone who’s auditory and you are quiet, you are not giving them the number one thing that turns them on during sex. It’s fun. Everybody likes it all. I’m not saying that you are the only one. Nothing I ever say is black and white. Everything in sexuality is on a big bell curve. It’s fun to explore. My husband is auditory. Sometimes when I’m on him cowgirl style, I will tell him the dirtiest story. I will take him to the edge and give him orgasm after orgasm.
Like you, he’s multi-orgasmic. He doesn’t need to ejaculate to have an orgasm. I will give him orgasm after orgasm while I’m whispering in his ear. He can barely remember what I said. It was about cheerleaders. There were a bunch of topless cheerleaders. It doesn’t even have to make any sense. I string things together. That’s fun for him. When he is giving me a Yoni massage, I am completely still and quiet. I’m riding his limbic ride and he’s taking me out into outer space.
The music is in the background. The lights are low. The room is at the right temperature. Everything is perfect. He takes over my nervous system and he takes me into ecstasy. He takes me higher and higher. I take those moments of orgasm and stretch them out like taffy. I cum and cum until I can’t cum anymore because I’m thirsty and I have to rest. We have different styles and what we found are ways to adjust and give each other the things that allow us to get into those super heady, fabulous states of pleasure together.
I’m sitting here thinking how sometimes these conversations feel uncomfortable for people. Dirty talk can feel uncomfortable. I love that you said it’s not dirty at all. A lot of people grew up with shame. There are darker sides of sexuality like sexual trauma that can impact some people and people can suppress it and not even find out they have had a trauma because they, as a coping mechanism, forgot it happened or disassociate it. We might hold that in our bodies and feel discomfort that doesn’t make sense.
Our parents can impact the way that we view sexuality and the shame and fear around it. Culturally, there’s so much negativity around something that’s about pleasure. It can lead people to go through life with limited thinking or discomfort around this. I’m curious about the healing elements of all of that because I would imagine that’s a big part of sexual expression. You have to acknowledge your previous experiences, whether that was trauma, education or the impacts of our culture on our viewpoints. Susan, in your work, is that something that you address? If so, how do you or others support people? Maybe you don’t do it directly. What is that process in getting through those mental and physical challenges when it comes to full expression?
You can’t be in the sexuality universe without dealing with sexual trauma and healing. There are a couple of things. The first is that almost everybody had some trauma between religious repression, societal slut-shaming, the giant schlongs on porn making men feel less than, women never even looking at their vulvas. There’s no erotic and sensual education, only fear-based, “You are going to get pregnant. You should be afraid of semen. You are going to get an STI.” You should be careful about STIs.
I will talk about sexuality and then I will talk about STIs and people go, “Now you ruined it for me,” I’m like, “Grow up.” You have to own your safety in your life, including STIs. You should know all about it so you can manage and decide what your boundaries and rules are. That’s what I’m here for. About sexual trauma, a few people have managed to get through it unscathed in some way. You can heal from it and come out the other side, a wholly healthy and happy human being. It can take work with a therapist. It can be often that our partners heal us by calling us to our sensual potential through their love, caring, help and connection.
Somatic solutions are good for sexual trauma. I’m talking about using body-based techniques, not just talk therapy but hands-on therapy for vulva owners. The G-spot awakening helps clear a lot of the energy in the enteric nervous system that gets trapped in the vulva. Yoni worship, Yoni massage, G-spot awakening and healing can be good. For men, Lingam massage as well as prostate stimulation can help move a lot of stuck energy for men who have been traumatized. Even trying to get men to not ignore their back door is a big leap. They won’t even let you touch their nipples. Jason’s point about that was true. Somatic support is good and working with partners.You can't be in the sexuality universe without dealing with sexual trauma and healing. Click To Tweet
I’ve got a good resource that I like a lot. It’s called How to Rewrite Your Libido Story. Dr. Keesha Ewers and I go through how you overcome your traumas yourself and how you can ultimately get to compassionate forgiveness for your transgressors and become whole again. I want to give you the URL for that because that’s a good one. It’s LibidoBook.com. It’s a workbook that helps you become whole. On my Better Lover website, I’ve got hundreds of videos that are free. There’s a whole series called Healing My Sexuality with Ariel Giarretto, who has a somatic experience technique, a hands-on sexual healer who trains the trainers on how to do somatic experience release. She goes through how to deal with your traumas if you are the one who has been traumatized and how to help your partner when they get triggered if they are the one that has been traumatized. Those are two good resources and two places you can go for some free resources.
Susan, I love the resources you shared. They are apropos of something that I’m in. I want to get uncomfortable for a second with my personal experience. I was in a difficult motorcycle accident. The mental side of it has been much more difficult than the physical healing. Here’s what I mean by this, I have noticed that I am learning how to trust my body again. That has affected my sexuality with my partner.
I’m in a heterosexual monogamous relationship with my girlfriend. The dynamics of our sexuality have changed post-accident because I have noticed something specific. The specificity is the depth, connection, endurance. The dynamics of our lovemaking when we do make love are still as potent, connected, fireworks and 4th of July. We have a beautiful and deep-connected relationship beyond sexuality. Certainly, that dynamic is beautiful.
The thing that I’m struggling with is I have noticed that my confidence and my libido have taken a hit since the accident, in the sense that I’m scared of re-injuring myself. I feel like my trust in my body and the mechanics of how my body works after the accident is not the same as it was prior. My specific trauma is around an accident. I’m struggling to get the same level of confidence in my body. Our lovemaking isn’t as frequent because I don’t trust my body.
I know that’s a specific thing we are discussing but I wanted to use that as a jump-off point when you are talking about trauma. I’m trying to get my confidence and my libido back and it’s taken a hit since the accident. In a general sense, what do you recommend for finding your confidence and getting your libido back? My erections are great. The connection is great. When we do make love, it’s amazing. It’s not as frequent. I feel like I don’t trust my body as much.
Your nervous system took a real hit. It’s probably good for you to spend more time being held and holding your partner. I have a wonderful technique. You are putting a little performance anxiety on yourself because you want to go back to where you used to be. We all have performance anxiety, “Am I going to be able to cum? Am I going to last long enough? Do I look fat? Does she like me? Do I stink? Is my breath okay?” It’s always running through our minds. You have to change the channel and come back to the present all the time.
I have a technique that I developed called the Soulmate Embrace. It’s at SoulmateEmbrace.com. It’s a free download, too. I wrote a book called Sexual Soulmates: The Six Essentials For Connected Sex. It’s one of my more popular books. In it, one of the techniques is the Soulmate Embrace. A lot of times, we hold our partners and when they relax, we let go instead of pulling them tighter. The Soulmate Embrace is you get on some cotton clothing, you lie down together, your girlfriend gets in your arms and you hold her. She completely relaxes and you allow what comes up for her.
You can switch. I’m going to give you the masculine-feminine dynamic. In this case, you may need to be the one who is held. This is something you have to experiment with yourself, Jason. You may get enough of the calming being the holder holding her. When you are holding her and she lets down, pull her a little closer. What will happen is emotions will come up for her when she starts to relax. She will want to say some things. She will need to get some things off of her chest. Let them come up and let them dissipate. Listen and hold her tighter. Adjust your hands. It’s not a death grip. It’s the continued application of the pressure of comfort.
Our bodies need to be squeezed and held to allow the nervous system to discharge. Interestingly, an orgasm is a contraction with a release of energy. That’s why calming makes you feel calm. The Soulmate Embrace is the beginning of that contraction if you will, being held, embraced and secured like a baby likes to be swaddled. What will happen is she may have tears come to her eyes. She may need to release some tears. Her mouth may begin to water. She will likely lubricate vaginally. You are masculine, you might find some pre-cum coming out of your penis.
When your spit runs, your tears run, you are running, your fluids are moving. Those are signs of release and arousal. All good sexual arousal begins in relaxation. Relaxation is the bed, on which turn-on begins to rise. Many times, lovers feel the pressure to turn her on or turn him on. They are pushing the buttons and twirling the knobs before you let down. You need to let down like when a mother nurses her baby. As she holds that baby close, she can feel the milk come down into her breasts and begin to express through her nipples to her child. That same feeling, it’s the fluids running.
You will know when she’s starting to water in some way that you can begin to kiss her eyelids, kiss her cheeks, stroke her hair. Run your fingers from the top of her shoulders down her arms and back. Stroke her thigh, depending on your body dynamics and the length of your body. Never go into sexual touch. There are four kinds of touch. There’s nurturing touch, healing touch, sensual touch and sexual touch. Often when people are trying to have sex, they are doing sexual touch. Instead, you would want to do nurturing touch and sensual touch first.
At some point, you will feel your turn on and your arousal starting to begin. That’s when you can start to kiss lips but not stick tongues in. You first kiss face, lips, neck, collarbones. Tell each other you love each other. Look into each other’s eyes. You want to slow your breath down. You want to syncopate your hearts. This is the time to completely relax with each other. My spit is running telling you to do this. I’m relaxing myself thinking about having a Soulmate Embrace. Isn’t that funny? Sometimes a good squeeze, a nice moan, “Do that again. Do it a little higher, right across my shoulder blades. That feels so good. Now rub my neck right here. I love that spot. Rub that spot. That’s good. Now kiss me.” You go off into bliss. It’s amazing when you give the body what it needs to get relaxed how easy the turn-on is from there. Try that and see if that will help you.
What I have come to realize in your description of that is I have not allowed myself to be fully nurtured after the accident. It was like, “Business as usual. Get the surgery. Go to PT.” Running two businesses is the prototypical mask, “Go and go. It will heal on its own. It’s fine.” What you have highlighted and elucidated for me brilliantly is that I need to open myself to a different kind of replenishment in my nervous system.There are four kinds of touch. There's nurturing, touch there's healing, touch there's sensual touch, and there's sexual touch. Click To Tweet
The willingness to ask my partner to hold me and not be worried about this old paradigm, “She’s going to think I’m weak. She’s going to think I’m frail.” This old paradigm masculinity thing of like, “Don’t ask for help. Don’t ask for healing.” The reality is I do need help and healing. I want those things. You have given me a great gift, not only in the technique you shared but to allow me to realize that I can ask for those things and not feel a sense of shame or weakness in asking for those things. Thank you.
The gift that you give her is allowing her to be nurturing to you.
Also, confronting my reticence to allow her to receive that gift. That’s huge. We talk about the myriad dynamics and I suppose the individual experience here, too. One thing we talk about, Susan, is the rise of ableism. In a lot of the portrayals of sexuality in the media and pornography, the rote things we have been told don’t take into account people with physical limitations or disabilities. For me, I’m almost fully healed from my accident physically. That experience gave me a window.
I remember barely being able to move my arm. I couldn’t even lift 2 inches away from my body. It gave me such a deeper level of compassion and awareness toward people who are living with physical limitations and disabilities for the rest of their life. With your work, how can we highlight sexuality and intimacy toward people that are differently-abled and not thinking about sexuality in one way for a person who may have all of their “normal” physical faculties?
I have a technique that I developed. I’m going to be doing an event for cancer survivors and how you can begin to revisit your sexuality after you have almost died. Our libido is our lust, our wanting of sex. The libido and our sex drive are two sides of the same coin. If your health is suppressed, your libido is suppressed. You can tell when your health is improving when your libido begins to come back. I sent out an email to my list and I said, “I’m not going to be able to answer all of you because I’m going to get too many responses but I’m going to read every single one.” I sent out an email that said, “Tell me what’s holding you back from having the intimacy that you crave. The only thing that I don’t want to know about is if you are single.” This is not a dating thing. This is more like, “What are the other reasons why you don’t have the intimacy that you want?” I’ve got back hundreds and hundreds of responses.
I worked with Maurice who has been working with me for over a decade and we went through them all. She helped me organize them into categories. I looked at the clusters and then I went to bed. I like to give my brain lucid dreaming prompts. How do I solve this for everyone? Don’t give them the fish, teach them to fish. How can I help them solve their problem? I saw every email come in and I’m like, “I can fix that,” but I can’t fix it all. I don’t have the time. What can I give them so that they can fix it? I developed this thing called The Magic Pill Method.
What happens is that when people are in a long-term relationship and something happens, a trauma, an illness, what have you, people don’t talk about it. They stop being intimate. They end up being platonic, resentful, lonely, disconnected, sad and longing. They feel bad about themselves. They miss the oxytocin and all of the wonderful chemicals that come from semen, which is good for women. Everything that comes from having an orgasm, being held and being close, there’s so much that goes by the wayside.
There was one problem I couldn’t solve and that was a betrayal. About 20% of people, it’s high, are hurt by someone and they never trust again. They hold the bitterness until the end of their days. They will be talking about it at 83 years old. They will be complaining about something that happened 73 years ago because they don’t know how to process it and let it go. I can’t fix that. What I can fix are all the things that happened to us that keep us from having an intimate connection. Here’s the simple thing, it’s at MagicPillMethod.com.
The Magic Pill Method is you make a list of all the things you are used to doing and all the things you still can do that you enjoy doing. You eat a good meal and you are well-hydrated. You sit on the sofa facing each other and you hold hands. The first person goes through their list, “These are the things I used to do that I miss. These are the things I could still do that I would like to do.” The other person goes and then you listen to each other and you trade lists. You thank each other. You come back a day or two later and you talk about it, “I would love to do these things.” What is it that’s the problem? Is it erectile dysfunction? Is it vaginal pain? Is it complete exhaustion? Is it, “My joints hurt?” There are always physical types of things or emotional types of things.
You not only have this working list of things you can begin to do again but you have what needs to get fixed and how are we going to resource and research getting it fixed? “Do I have Lichen sclerosis and I need to go get stem cells? How am I going to get this paid for? Do I have erectile dysfunction? I’m going to go get GAINSWave. Do I have vaginal pain? Do I need to look into interventional estrogen cream and DHEA cream or get a vFit and use photobiomodulation to restore my vaginal mucosa to youthful levels so that it doesn’t hurt to have sex?” Whatever it is, there is a solution to almost every problem that is sexual in nature.It's amazing when you give the body what it needs to get relaxed, how turned on, how easy the turn-on is from there. Click To Tweet
Between all the sexual regenerative therapies, the bio-hacking, the bioidentical hormones, and the wonderful treatments that are out there, there are solutions. Some of them are expensive but there are almost always budget and luxury options. This is one of the things that I pride myself on. Do I have more time than money? Do I have more money than time? Do I like to do it myself? Do I want it done for me? I always try to give people a matrix of options, “Use these two creams, combine them in your finger and stick them up to your Yoni or go get a Cliovana, a FemiWave, or whatever.” Once they come up with researching the solutions, who are going to make the appointments? Who’s driving? We are in this together. We’ve got to fix it together.
I like the practical mechanical piece of it with the, “What’s still on the table?” As soon as people stop having intercourse, they think sex is off the table. It is not at all. Even a guy who has intractable erectile dysfunction, maybe diabetes, he’s not going to be able to reverse that diabetes. He stops having sex with his wife. What about a nice vibrating dildo? That’s a fabulous thing. Hot Octopuss makes this thing that you can put your flaccid penis and it’s called the Pulse Duo. You put your flaccid penis in. It’s got this little stimulating plate and then she rides on top, cowgirl style, my favorite. It’s like a Sybian. It’s like a little vibrator that she sits on.
You can do missionary sex and have orgasms together while you are making out and you are playing with her breasts and you are completely flaccid. You are still having great sex and she’s having fantastic orgasms. You can have an orgasm without an erection. There are solutions to everything if you know where to look and what to do. It’s that concerted effort of being willing to make the list, talk about it, find solutions and fix the problem. The Magic Pill Method goes through that in more detail and gives you worksheets.
That’s empowering. It also leads me to something I want to touch on, which is homosexual relationships. Being a heterosexual woman, I’m ignorant. I was thinking to myself, “I wonder how exactly lesbians define sex.” In my head, sex is intercourse. Much of what you are saying is reminding me that there’s so much about sex that is not intercourse. It’s important to have awareness. Even as a heterosexual person, I would like to know more about homosexual dynamics because I’m curious. I want to understand other people. Much of what you said can apply to lesbians as well or people that choose to have sex. Bisexuality as well is covered there. You might be experimenting.
I have always been curious. In my lifetime, I wonder will I have sex with a woman fully or maybe I already have in some of my explorations. I hope so, too, because I’m simply curious. Sometimes you wonder about the sexuality spectrum. I don’t identify as a bisexual woman but I have curiosities and interests because it’s a form of pleasure and intimacy. There are a lot of that I’m fascinated by and like to learn more about. It’s important to address it because I don’t want people to feel left out. To your point, intercourse can happen with toys. Maybe each person has different definitions. When two women have sex, does that mean they are doing sexual acts? Is there no one definition as there might be for heterosexual people? What are some different definitions of sex?
People are doing many amazing different things. The standards for gay sex are more scissoring, fingering, oral, using toys, etc. There are a ton you can explore. Being willing to be fluid about your desires is happening more and more with people. A lot of people call themselves heteroflexible. They are primarily heterosexual but they would be open to having a relationship with a woman. Maybe you are not ready right away to go down on a woman but you would like to hold, kiss, play with each other’s breasts, show each other your genitals, give yourself a little pussy tour. That’s always good with every new lover. It’s like, “Here’s my Yoni. This is my clit. I like these strokes. This is what I have always liked about her. This is the way I masturbate. These are the toys I like.”
Keeping open. There are so many new categories of sexuality from the sapiosexual. I’m turned on by smart people. Intelligence is what gets me. I don’t care so much about what you look like. I care about how our intellectual stimulation works. A demisexual is not so much what your gender is but the emotional connection that’s created. There are a lot of new flavors of sexuality. There’s an app that I’m playing around with it and I’m impressed with their approach, which is called Feeld. It started as an app for couples looking for threesomes. It quickly expanded to the sex-positive app that’s not Grindr, which is the gay men. I forgot what the lesbian one is. I have been on many of those apps. I’m always trying to keep up with what’s going on in the world of apps to help people make their connections better.
They have twenty categories for your sexual expression, how you express yourself. “I’m bisexual. I’m heterosexual. I’m heteroflexible. I’m sapiosexual. I’m demisexual. I’m pansexual.” All of these different things. This world is exploding. There are a lot of wonderful opportunities to do as much as you are comfortable with and start. Women having sex with women are women who used to think they were heterosexual. Having sex with other women is exploding now. Men who thought they were heterosexual and don’t identify as gay but are flexible about it. They would be in a threesome with another man.If your health is suppressed, your libido is suppressed. You can tell when your health is improving when your libido begins to come back. Click To Tweet
Years ago, the only threesome they could have imagined would have been with two women. Now they are like, “I am interested in partnering with another guy. I don’t want to be sexual with him, per se. If my penis touches his penis, I’m fine with it. It’s not the end of the world. I don’t mind if my arm grazes his or we are in some funky position. I’m fine with that.” Everything is moving toward open, fluid, experimental and willing to play a little bit more. I’m excited about that. We are going in the right direction. We are right back to where we started. Everything is expanding, including heart connection. People are wanting more heart connection, consciousness and choice in how they conduct their sex life.
Susan, one of my favorite things throughout this entire episode is all of the references and analogies you have made to food and sensuality. As a chef, I have to say food is one of the great sensual experiences of being a human being. I don’t know that it would exceed great sex but a transcendent meal is up there. Kudos to you for the wonderful references. Also, as a jump-off point, we talked about libido. You mentioned your supplement company. You also mentioned that you have this great Viagrette dressing. I want to talk about food and sexuality. As a chef, I have experimented with a lot of different Chinese herbs, ayurvedic herbs, zinc-rich foods. What are some of your favorite libido boosters, sexual enhancing foods, super herbs, superfoods? Give us the whole kit and caboodle.
I will make it easy. I studied libidos and aphrodisiacs for many years. I looked at all the data and research as well as studied the indigenous wisdom of our ancestors to see what was efficacious. By the way, I want to make a level set about us as Homo sapiens. Imagine the tree of life. In the branches is the animal kingdom. You’ve got the dolphins, whales, ponies, puppies, lions, kitties, monkeys and the apes. You look out on the monkey ape branch and there are the primates and the great apes. There are the bonobos, chimpanzees, orangutans, the Homo sapiens and that’s us. We are apes. We have 96% shared DNA with chimpanzees and bonobos.
When we think about ourselves sitting at the base of the tree, eating an apple, we are not in the tree, that’s wrong. We are in the tree. We are animals. We are run by our sugar highs and lows, the crap we have stuck in our body, the broken fats and oils that we have polluted our self with, all the booze we consume, all the drugs we take, all the toxins we dump on our bodies from the health and beauty products. We are essentially assaulting ourselves with toxins, 24/7, which are wreaking havoc with our gut microbiome. We are taking antibiotics that are killing off our gut microbiome. We can’t produce our feel-good neurotransmitters and our turn on hormones without having a good gut. We can’t get a hard-on, men and women, people across the gender spectrum when we fill our vascular system with bad fat and sugars.
My salad dressing recipe is Viagrette, the undressing dressing. It’s Jacques Pépin’s French salad dressing. It’s tablespoon a Dijon, a cup of organic avocado oil and a quarter of a cup of vinegar. I like a nice aged Sherry vinegar or red wine vinegar. Some salt and pepper. I like a chopped shallot because it makes a fantastic dressing. Throw it all in a shaker, put in your nice Maldon salt, some nice Kampot ground black pepper from Cambodia. You have the makings for a delicious salad dressing. It lasts in your refrigerator. The only thing that’s fresh in that whole thing is a shallot. I always recommend 1 of 2 dried herbs. It’s never together. It’s one or the other. Dried savory or dried marjoram is excellent. You can keep all this stuff in your house.
When you are coming home from the airport and you pick up whatever you need for your coffee or for your morning and you throw a shallot in the basket, chop, shake, and then you’ve got your beautiful organic lettuce, all your good raw vegetables, anything that you want to put in that. That’s my lunch every day. It keeps my blood flowing and coursing through my body. It gives me good health and no heart disease. I love that because I feel bad when I see people trying to eat well and then they dump bottled salad dressing on their beautiful salad, which is garbage thickeners and terrible things. There’s not one decent bottle of dressing out there. Salad dressing is the easiest thing to make to instantly improve your health. I call it my Viagrette instead of vinaigrette. It’s like taking Viagra.
As far as botanicals, I studied them all and there are five that make a difference. These are the botanicals that I use in my supplements. The first is Tongkat Ali. It’s interesting because they are libido-enhancing supplements from different parts of the world. One is TCM. One is ayurvedic. They are the plants that work to unbind your hormones and improve your libido. One is fenugreek, that’s your ayurvedic one. One is Tongkat Ali and that’s your South East Asian Malaysian one. You’ve got that and then you’ve got Tribulus Terrestris, that’s your Mediterranean one.
You have cacao, that’s your South American and Equitorial one. That’s a polyphenol that keeps your blood flowing. It doesn’t do a ton for your hormones but it keeps your blood flowing, which means your body can produce those hormones and neurotransmitters. Finally, Maca, which is your Peruvian root. You don’t need the black Maca or the red Maca. Honestly, anyone of any gender, your plain old white Maca is perfectly fine. Maca, cacao, Tribulus, Tonkat Ali and fenugreek.
You have to know that when you are using botanicals, you want to herb cycle. For example, I make a supplement called DESIRE. It’s a daily multivitamin multi-mineral. It uses methylated B vitamins. They are highly bioactive, which is good. You can get the B complex and utilize it. I have three different versions of the DESIRE supplement. One has Tongkat, one has Tribulus, one has fenugreek. It’s a 90-day supply. You get your one a day with a little something more, the libido and the botanical in it. You do need minerals to make your hormones. You need vitamins to make your hormones. You can’t get it from a lot of foods that we eat.
I have three different DESIRE supplements so that you can rotate through them because your body acclimatizes to them if you take them all the time. You can herb cycle. That seems to work well for people with blood flow supplements. The blood flow supplement, I make from organic citrulline, which is watermelon. The watermelon is called Citrullus vulgaris. I make it from organic citrulline, organic spinach and organic bitter cherries. That is good for getting vaginal lubrication, erectile firmness and getting the sensation back that you lose as you age.
That has been a fun business to be in. I have enjoyed moving from publishing passionate lovemaking techniques to also giving people the supplements that support their health. I realized that sex is a three-legged stool. The techniques are great but they are no good without communication. That’s the second stool. They are no good without health and that’s the third stool. If you want to have great health your whole life, the mindset of lifetime learning, belief that your sexuality is ageless, you have to take care of your health and talk about your sex life is the key.There are solutions to everything if you know where to look and what to do. Click To Tweet
Susan, I feel like we could go on and on about recipes and foods. When you were talking about Maldon salt and the specific pepper, you are in good company here. We love food. We research food. It has been the crux of the business that we have been doing. We are kindred spirits. I want to thank you so much. You have been incredibly delightful, open and a breath of fresh air, your energy, wisdom, heart. I was coming into this interview pretty low energy, to be honest. I’m leaving this interview feeling inspired, lit up, feeling like you are in the room with us. Thank you so much for this incredible goldmine of wisdom and heart you have shared with us and our readers.
On that note, she proved how auditory stimulation works. Susan, beforehand, it’s true he was low energy. Hearing you, I could see him coming to light. It was like Jason’s body was erecting. Jason was engorged. I could see him light up. I’m sitting here and thinking, “He’s going to have fun after this.” He probably didn’t think he had it in him.
He’s going to get a Soulmate Embrace, Whitney.
I hope your girlfriend is coming over, Jason.Everything's expanding, including people wanting more heart connections and consciousness and choice in how they conduct their sex life. Click To Tweet
I’m going to text her and be like, “When are you off work? Dinner is going to be ready.” Text sent. The sheets are excellent. We don’t have kids but we have fur animals. I’m sending the fur animals to school. Susan, you have shared so many incredible websites and resources. Verbally, auditorily speaking, where do you want to direct our wonderful readers so they can know where to find you?
You can go to, SusanBratton.com. I’m @SusanBratton on Instagram. You can go to that Better Lover site if you are video-oriented and you would like to see things. You can go to PersonalLifeMedia.com to get on my email newsletter list and get all my fabulous sex tips by email.
Susan, it is an absolute pleasure. I hope to meet you and connect with you in person because you are a shining light in this world. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, your heart and your love here. I am in deep appreciation and reverence for you. For you, dear reader, if you have resonated as deeply as I have and Whitney has with Susan, please go to her website, her social media. Join her newsletter and gobble up the deliciousness this woman is sharing with the world. We love you, Susan. We appreciate you. Thank you for being here on the show!
*We use affiliate links in our show notes. This means we receive a small sales commission if you purchase an item based on our recommendation.
- Susan Bratton
- Are We Alone Together? Technology and the Illusion of Intimacy – Previous Episode
- Alone Together
- Keesha Ewers
- Healing My Sexuality
- Sexual Soulmates: The Six Essentials For Connected Sex
- Hot Octopuss
- SusanBratton – Instagram
About Susan Bratton
Susan Bratton, “Intimacy Expert to Millions💋” is a champion and advocate for all those who desire intimacy and passion their whole life long.She is co-founder and CEO of two corporations: Personal Life Media, Inc., a publisher of heart-connected lovemaking techniques and bedroom communication skills and The20, LLC., a manufacturer of organic and botanical supplements that enhance sexual vitality.
A best-selling author and publisher of 34 books and programs including Sexual Soulmates, Relationship Magic, Revive Her Drive, Ravish Him, Steamy Sex Ed™, The Passion Patch, Hormone Balancing, and Hot To Trot.Susan has been featured in the New York Times and on CNBC and the TODAY show as well as frequent appearances on ABC, CBS, The CW, Fox and NBC.You can find The Susan Bratton Show® at BetterLover.com, her personal shares on Instagram @susanbratton, and her lust-for-life supplements, FLOW and DESIRE at The20store.com.
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