MGU 200 | Reach Milestones

 

What does it mean to reach milestones personally and professionally? The show has been on for 200 episodes now, but to Jason Wrobel and Whitney Lauritsen, it seems like it was only yesterday when they capped the 100th. With Wellevatr’s third anniversary and Whitney’s birthday on the horizon, there is much to unpack when it comes to milestones. Is there are deeper significance to these markers aside from just being arbitrary measurements? More importantly, is there a real benefit in ascribing value to milestones or does it just mire us deeper into contextualization, comparison and ultimately status anxiety? Join Whitney and Jason as they share their thoughts on this and a half dozen or so of their famous tangents that you should be familiar with by now after listening to the last 199 conversations.  

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Milestones: Is There More To Them Than Just Being Arbitrary Markers? 

In the short but exciting history of this show, we have had a few milestones that I feel like Ive been excited about and proud of. This episode is a fascinating thing. I was having a tough time getting out of bed because I was surrounded by animals. My girlfriend let all of the animals in before I got up. I was greeted by a paw to the eyelid and a wet nose to the cheek. As I was trying to wake up slowly, although the animals wouldnt allow me to do so, I was reflecting in that in-between state of wakefulness and sleep on, It’s our 200th episode and its such a bizarre thing. 

On the one hand, it feels like we arrived at 200 episodes very quickly in terms of the perception of time. On the other hand, it also feels like we have been doing this show a lot longer than we have been. It’s a strange way to feel about ibecause its like, “Two hundred episodes is arbitrary measurement. Everything is an arbitrary measurement. Its the meaning we assign to things. We always talk about this, how events, accomplishments, and things in our lives are inherently neutral, but if we assign meaning and value to them, then theyre meaningful and valuable to us. I feel like weve been doing this a lot longer than we have. It’s interesting. 

I was reflecting on how we felt on our 100th episode and it did not feel that long ago, which is weird to be doing the number 200 with you. It feels like 100 was the other day. Im reflecting a little bit as were doing this episode on where we want to take this in terms of our topical matter and the guests we have coming up. One little preview for you, reader, is we do these episodes in advance. If youve been with us a long time, you know that we have a little bit of a lead time. We’re not doing and releasing these episodes on the exact same dayWhitney and I have a whole litany of fascinating guests that weve booked through the summer. When we have guests that reach out to us and say, “Can we get on next week and our episode goes live fast? 

MGU 200 | Reach Milestones

Reach Milestones: Events and accomplishments are inherently neutral. It’s when we assign value to them that they become meaningful to us.

 

Were like, “Sure. If you want to throw in another French Bulldog puppy or a years supply of chocolate, were available to be bribed.” Readers, if you want to be a guest on our show, we will accept bribes so long as there are things that we enjoy. I wanted to kick this off, Whitney, by reflecting on how far weve come in such a short period of time and how quick it has felt in the same time, too, of like, “Here we are at 200. I feel like theres a lot of interesting milestones coming up for us. We have this. We also are celebrating the three-year anniversary of our brand, Wellevatr, that we officially launched in the spring of 2018. 

We’re going to be celebrating our three-year anniversary of Wellevatr in addition to these 200 episodes. You also have a birthday coming up. I feel like theres a lot to celebrate coming up, which is cool. Given everything weve been throughIm reminded that its important to celebrate things, and oftentimes, I will put my head down and not celebrate certain accomplishments or milestones, but its important for us to do that. For me reclaiming my joy in my lifeits been difficult with my depression to feel a lot of joy. These may be arbitrary milestones, but I feel like they are worth celebrating. Even that little bit of joy in the day of like, “Look what we did.” Its important to take note of that. Im saying that for my own mental health. I hope you feel the same way, Whit. I’m reflecting on what weve done and how far weve come. 

It’s interesting because it reminds me of a lot of elements of life when youre anticipating something and what it feels to look forward to something versus what happens when it finally happens and what the aftermath is. I remember thinking, “200 episodes. As I reflect on it, I remember putting it into our spreadsheet. We have a spreadsheet on a program called Airtable. We used to use Google Sheets, but I switched over to Airtable because its got some features that make it a little bit easier for something like this. I highly recommend that. Also, I considered using Notion. For any of you that are podcasters and are curious about the behind-the-scenes of our brand and how we do this show, a huge thing that weve learned is how to stay organized. 

We mainly use Google Documents and Airtable, plus Calendly and Google Forms which is also part of Google Drive, to organize everything. We have the spreadsheet in Airtable that has a list of all of the upcoming shows, previous shows, the status, what dates the episodes are coming out and notes on them. We use that to plan the episodes and submit the episodes to our editing team. Its all the coordination of it. I remember plugging in the 200th episode and thinking, “That’s so far away. I put that on our spreadsheet a few months ago and now its here. It’s fascinating because that reminds me of anything that we look forward to that is in the future. For example, I have a trip coming up, and its going to be here before I know it.  

I also have a tentative trip of driving cross-country again in 2021. I was talking to somebody about it who said, “That’s far away. Its at the beginning of March 2021 that were doing this episode and the trip that Im planning would be at the end of August or early September 2021, but I know, as many of us do, that it will be here before I know it. Ill be looking back and thinking, “It’s here.” Shortly after, itll be over with and Ill be looking back and saying, I remember when I was planning that trip. It’s interesting for me psychologically as human beings how that works in our brains. Sometimes the anticipation, it feels like things are taking so long to happen, but they dont take that long. 

It also reminds me of things that Ive purchased. I remember my headphones. I was excited to get Apple AirPods Max. I had been thinking about getting them for a while. I finally decided to and I remember placing the order, and it said it was going to take like two weeks for them to arrive. Those two weeks felt like an eternity, but now that I have them, it felt like it went by fast. As Ive said in other episodes, its important for us to become very present to not just the anticipation, but the experience once its happening and then the experience after its happened, because those are equally important. 

It also reminds me of a statement that was brought up. Im getting excited to know your perspective on this and I hope I can do it justice. I saw this on TikTok and this guy was talking about time traveling but in a unique way. He was saying that our memories are our equivalent of time traveling where we can go back in time and almost relive experiences that we had. I dont know why this is making me excited. Maybe its because I love this concept. He said since he was a kidhes been creating active thoughts and experiences in the present moment so that his future self can easily come back to the past memories. 

I heard that was such a brilliant idea. In a way, we can do this at any point in our life. We could create a touchpoint, but its something that becomes a vivid experience in the present moment that we could potentially come back to. Its almost like if any of you have played Super Mario games or any Nintendo games, a lot of them have flags in the middle of the game where once you get to the flag, if you die as Mario when you come back to life, you go back to that starting point, as opposed to the beginning. Donkey Kong and a lot of those games have that. 

It’s important to be present not just in the anticipation of something, but in the experience itself once it’s happening. Click To Tweet

It’s designed so that you dont have to start over from scratch completely, but in my head, you could almost do that with your memories. It’s not quite the same because its not like youre coming back to life, but youre going back to revisit something. If you are intentional about it, youre giving your future self something that stands out in your memory as a positive experience, hopefully. For us, we could sit here and savor the experience of doing 200 episodes. We can do that by taking in what it feels like to have accomplished this, not to pat ourselves on the back necessarily, but to use this as an example. 

It is quite an accomplishment that we have done 200 episodes. It’s important for us to acknowledge that because its a lot of work and sometimes we dont take the time to acknowledge the work. We keep moving to the next milestone and the next one. If we sit here and savor it, its almost like our future selves can come back to this moment anytime we want and revisit that experience of recording this because we dont know whats going to happen in the futureand we might need this moment for something else. 

Sometimes youre lying in bed or on the couch or taking a moment, and your brain will go back to something that happened in the past. Sometimes its a positive or a negative thing. For example, you and I had our road trip in 2019. I think about it a lot because Ive been editing the video for that. Im getting closer to feeling ready to publish it. Readers, it will be available at some point. Whenever I watched that video, I feel grateful for it because the process of creating that video gave us that touchpoint, touchstone and deeply embedded memory. NowI can visually and auditorily go back to that experience of us on that trip. 

If I had been conscious of it, I might recall some of the smells as well. Now Ive got visuals, audio, the memory of the smell and anything else that weve created either that was filmed on camera or that was put in our memories. It’s common practice for us to do that on vacationsbut maybe we dont do that enough in our day-to-day lives. Maybe we dont stop to not only appreciate the big moments of our lives and the milestones in our lives but what if we became more present and did a little bit more frequently. We find the joy and all sorts of moments of our day, so that if youre going through a depressive episode, its like, I can time travel back to the past and put myself in a place that was wonderful or comforting. That could be a coping mechanism or a tool that you use when youre struggling as a reminder that youve experienced joy in the past. 

There’s a lot of value in that and in looking back on previous challenges or struggles that Ive survived when Im in a moment of feeling stressed, anxious, depressed or lost. I do think back on other times in my life that I felt that way and go, “You felt this way before. You made it through that and this.” Not only reflecting on the joyful moments of the past but reflecting on the resilience and the ability to survive painful, confusing, anxious and scary moments in life. There’s a deep value in that for me as well. The other thing too, you talked about this idea of the future self. In 2010I remembered having a conversation with a friend about these elements of quantum theory and the time that were coming out. The theory that time is this non-linear schmear. Time and space being these quantum aspects of our reality as we know it. 

MGU 200 | Reach Milestones

Reach Milestones: We are so obsessed with contextualizing other people we meet. We’re sussing each other out on different levels all of the time.

 

The theory in this idea of quantum time was that our past selves, all these versions of who we were, who we are in this moment, and our future selves are all existing simultaneously. The whole idea was that the choices that we are making in the present moment are not only rippling backward in reality to the previous versions of who we are. Our future self that we have not yet lived or embodied at least consciously, but on some dimensional reality, is living whatever theyre living, is making decisions that are rippling backward to the present moment. 

That whatever decisions our future self is making, quantumly are affecting the moment. Not only is the present moment affecting the past, but our future decisions that we dont even feel weve made yet, but in quantum mechanics, we have made them are affecting us nowThat’s the fascinating thing. It’s like, “What is my future self doing quantumly speaking thats affecting me at this moment?” I trip on that, literally on psychedelics, but sometimes in the middle of my day, Im like, “If thats true and versions of us are existing in past, present and future simultaneously, then what the hell is my future self up to that’s affecting me now?” I daydream about that. I stare out the window sometimes when Im taking a work break, and Im like, I wonder what I am going to be doing 1 or 2 years from now?” Who the hell knows? I dont know but what you posited, Whitney, makes me think about how much pressure we put on ourselves with time. 

I do this tooIm too old to do this. I shouldnt be doing this. Im running out of time. Im going to be 50 years old soon.” What does all that meanYou and I talk about arbitrary measurements that we use to gauge our value in society as human beings all the time. Our relationship to time is a fascinating thing because, on one hand, the idea of death can be a very motivating thing. Weve talked about that in previous episode, our relationship to death and losing people. 

Death is also something thats related to a timebound mind that I have a finite amount of time in this body, in this reality. I wonder sometimes what the balance is of feeling motivated by the fact that were not going to be living in these bodies forever and were going to experience a physical death at some point versus not taking time seriously that, “What if we are infinite beings? What if once we exit these bodies, our energy, souls or whatever you want to call it, go somewhere else? Maybe we embody somewhere else? Maybe we dont embody somewhere elseMaybe we stay disembodied?” 

Im going on a massive tangent, but here we are at episode 200. We do tangents and we do them well. We’re known for our tangents here on this show, but its all just to say that Im curious what your relationship is to time and age now. I mentioned you have a birthday coming up. I feel like birthdays are often a time where we reflect on these things, on time, on accomplishments or lack thereof and on what I ought to be doing at this age. Im curious if any of thats coming up for you as you approach this milestone for yourself? 

I dont talk about my age that much because I feel like ageism is such a big issue that we have, especially for women. I dont want to be part of that. I feel not quite neutral about age, but I’m on the side of the age doesnt matter perspective. I do find myself being curious about other peoples age. I use that as an opportunity to reflect on that and then be less concerned. There are moments where I will try to compare myself to someone based on their age. I think thats why we have an interest in age. There is the health and longevity side of it. We love to put things into context in terms of how old someone is. Ive noticed that when somebody brings up their age, I dont generally want to know what it is. When somebody asks me what my age isI dont want to share my age. 

Just because some people are keeping score in your life doesn’t mean that it matters. Click To Tweet

I do find myself sometimes being curious about other peoples age still, which is a bad habit per se. I dont think it matters that much. Age matters sometimes in terms of access to things. Age will sometimes matter in terms of experience, but in general, age doesnt matter in terms of your health because somebody can be healthy or unhealthy which is a term I also dont enjoy at any different age. There’s this mindset of like, “Somebodys doing well ‘for their age, or someone’s not doing well for their age. That does us a disservice. That’s one of the reasons I dont go out of my way to share my age to keep people guessing. If it seems relevant, maybe Ill bring it up. 

I dont even think about it. In fact, I have started to lose track of exactly how old I am, which might sound funny. Ill have to do the math. For my upcoming birthday, I have to keep pausing and like, “Im turning that age. Interesting. It’s like one of those ages that’s in between the big numbers. It’s also fascinating to me that we tend to celebrate certain numbersWhen youre a teenager, youll celebrate turning double digits, and you celebrate turning 16, 1821. After that, you start to celebrate 30, 40, 50, etc. It seems strange. It’s also interesting because my mother is similar, but a little bit more extreme. She never talks about her age. She will completely go out of her way to avoid it. 

My sister and I dont know how old my mom is. We found out how old my dad was because he had some health issue and there was some contextual reason, we wanted to know his age. Although ultimately, it didnmatter. Its not an important thing in our family. I also forgot my sisters age. I do the math every once in a while. Im like, I know that shes X years younger than me,” and then Ill remember how old she is. It’s interesting because, in our family, age was not something that was discussed that frequently. I think that was kind of cool. I find that irritating when TV shows or articles put somebodys age on to contextualize them. In an article, theyll put them in parentheses. Especially reality TV shows like The Bachelor, for example. They will say the persons nameunderneath itll say their jobtheir age. 

What is the point of that? You can say, I didnt know she was that young. That makes me believe something about her. If you didnt know her age, then your beliefs are less meaningful or something. That’s the whole point. If we step back and look at itage truly doesnt matter. Its rare that it matters. It also reminds me of things like once a child is born or something, theres so much emphasis on constantly asking how old the child is and also talking about a childs gender. I wouldnt be surprised if, over time, age becomes less of a deal or shifts its whole dynamic as weve seen genderchanging. We’re still in that weird time where people like to know if their child is a boy or a girl.  

MGU 200 | Reach Milestones

Reach Milestones: Having contexts that make us feel like we have a better grasp of things, but at the end of the day, it’s all BS.

 

It’s born in gender is still a big deal. Even when I saw my friends, iwas only the second time I had seen their child because their child was born during COVID. Their daughter was born on my birthday, which I completely forgotWe share the same birthday. When I was visiting with them, they were talking a lot about the childs behavior and the childs clothing in terms of gender. I had to bite my tongue because I dont want to push my beliefs onto my friends, but I found it fascinating how much they were contextualizing their childs gender in terms of the way this child dresses and the way this child acts and behaves. 

These people are around my age. It’s fascinating how were still in that strange time of being more open and fluid in terms of our belief systemsyet we still cling on to traditional things like gender. We still are in the old habits. Im curiousas our habits changed around gender, will they also change around age? Will age becomes less of a factor or will it stay a big factor in our lives even as we continue to evolve and become more open-minded about how we perceive other people? 

There’s a lot of subjugation in society, in general, that people want to know descriptors of who you are. What do you do for a living? That’s the typical question when you meet someone newWhat do you do? The age, gender, religion, and politics thing. We, as humans, are obsessed with contextualizing other people we meet. First of all, to suss out if theyre safe on a very fundamental primal level, “Is this person safe? On a much more subtle level, its like, “Do I want to relate to this person? Does this person have something of value in this interaction that I can get from them? We’re sussing each other out on all these levels all of the time. The concerning thing for me is there seems to be a growing movement. 

This makes sense because, in my belief system and a lot of my spiritual practices, I believe in something called the second force. That when you energetically initiate something that is infused with a lot of intention and energy in the world, the enthusiasm and excitement and joy that you will initiate this thing into the world with will be met with second force, which is challenged and resistance from outside forces. You talked about the whole movement of people reevaluating their gender and the titles in which they refer to themselves and the pronouns. We have an episode on this. 

One thing Ive been seeing popping up on social media a lot is resistance and a push back. There was a video that I saw in the vein where it was showing images of celebrities, musicians and artists dressing in womens clothing. There was a shot of Harry Styles in a dress. There were David BowiePrince, and men that are well-known celebrities or artists that were dressing with makeup and androgyny in womens clothing. The whole thing was like, “Where are all the real men?” It was this diatribe that Ive seen different versions of saying that, “We’re killing off the real men in society by feminizing themdressing up in womens clothing, having makeup, androgyny, and men exploring their femininity is a ‘bad thing.’ It’s killing off the real real men,’” whatever the fuck that means. 

It rankled me because, on the one hand, I love my feminine side and the fact that Im an extremely sensitive man in the world, which has disturbedinterested and intrigued people my whole life for a variety of reasons. This pushback against what youre saying of us combating sexism and I dont even know if it is genderismsexism or ageism, the things that you and I were discussing. Theres an equal amount of pushback as people are expanding their minds in their hearts to realize, “Maybe we dont have to be subjugated to this binary system of identification. Youre a success. Youre a failure. Youre a man. Youre a woman. You’re hetero. You’re gay.” Everything’s binary. 

You’re in one bucket or the other. People are getting disturbed by the fact that people dont want to assign themselves to one bucket or another. Theyre like, “Maybe theres a spectrum. Maybe there is literally a whole schmear of choices and I dont need to pick this one or that one to make you comfortable. Ive been seeing a lot more of this pushback from people trying to uphold some oldschool idea of what masculinity is. That if you wear a dress and wear makeup, somehow youre not a man anymore. 

This is fascinating as the world, peoples minds and hearts are changing. Theres a group of humans that dont want it to. Theyre like, “No. We want things to stay the same way. We want things to stay the way they are. This is a man. This is a woman. This is hetero. This is gay. This is good. This is bad.” The binary way of relating as humans disinterest me more and more as I go on because itso fucking boring. On a deeper level, it’s oppressing to people because if you want to paint outside the lines or live outside the lines, people criticize you. They hate you. There’s violence against people who choose to do this. 

Every birthday should be a true celebration of your life continuing, not a milestone of dread. Click To Tweet

Weve talked about this, but you sparked something in me because I see this backlash coming more and moreIt’s like, What is threatening about a man wearing a dress? Let people wear what they want to wear. Let people do whatever they want to do as long as its not harming you. I feel like Im an alien sometimes because I look at this stuff and Im like, “Why cant you let people be the way they want to be? Why is it so threatening? 

It brings up a larger question of, “Why do we feel the need to oppress and subjugate people? Why do human beings feel the need to do this? You’re in your 40s, so you should have this amount of money saved. You should have this level of wealth. You should have this level of career success. Its a fascinating thing. I dont know that I have a question to bounce back to you, but Im reflecting on to say that as humanity is evolving, there is a group of people who dont want humanity to do what they want. They want us to stay exactly the way its been and maybe because its benefiting them in some way. Maybe thats why certain people dont want us to evolve as a species because if we stay the way we are, they keep benefiting from us staying the way we are. I personally am not interested in that. Its dreadfully boring. 

It’s an answer that I dont have because it takes a lot of research into human history. I have been wanting to go back and reread the book Status Anxiety because theres a lot of interesting data in there about human behavior and how weve evolved over time to view status in many different ways. Age, gender and income can be a status. There are many things that are based on status. I cant remember all the details about the psychological reasons that status is important. When I revisit that book, I think that would be an interesting thing to reflect back on. 

We have talked about it a bit off and on throughout the showIf you search for Status Anxiety on our websiteyou can find all the little nuggets and which weve referenced books like Status Anxiety. Im fascinated by this. This is the part of history that piques my interest because Im a big why person. I like to understand the reason in which we do things. I would think a simple explanation for your question is that we are looking for ways to stay safe. It makes us feel safe when things stay the samewhen we have control when we understand somebody, and we have context. That’s one of the reasons that its hard to shift a lot as human beings because we come to become very used to them. Tradition is very appealing as a result. 

The comparison side of age can make us feel very comforted or safe for better or for worse. We might be able to have more context like, “Approximately how much time do we have left to live?” We dont like to think about it very much, but there are averages in which human beings will live. On this note, to go off track from the human experience, its also true with our animals. This has been coming up a lot recently because my dog Evie is twelve years old this 2021. It’s interesting because a lot of people love to know how old your animals are. That’s one of the first questions that we ask when we meet a new animal. 

What’s the animals name and how old is it? We put that animal into context too, which is also such a hard question. I met a seventeen-year-old dog at the grocery store. I could not believe how old this dog was because I thought for sure it was a puppy. It was interesting to hear that the dog was old because seventeen years is a long time for a dog to live. Perhaps that makes it impressive or a helpful number but athe same point, if I saw the dog and never found out how old the dog was, I assumed that the dog was young because it was lively. 

What if being full of life does not have anything to do with how old you are? In a way, the term full of life means that youve had a lot of life in you. Wouldnt that mean that you are older? We associate being full of life with being younger, which doesnt make a lot of sense. It’s the same thing. Wlove to judge people based on their appearance. Whether or not they have wrinkles or gray hair. Ive been having gray hair sprout out of my head for a while now. I remember when they first started coming up, I thought, “Am I too young to be getting gray hairs?” If you look it up, women get gray hairs at all different ages. I dont know the youngest in which somebody will get gray hair, but women in their twenties get gray hair sometimes. 

Gray hair also is different for every hair type. It looks different. My sister has very blonde hair. I feel a little envious of her because youll probably never notice her gray hair. It’ll take many years longer than someone like me that has dark hair. We think about wrinkles, but women get wrinkles at all different ages. It depends on their sun exposure, on their genetics and on how well they take care of their skin. It’s all of these little factors that we use to evaluate age that is very meaningless. The biggest reason that I dont like it is beyond judgmenttheres so much time that is wrapped up in anxietyfear and pride as well. Coming back to the whole reason we started discussing this was around our 200th episode. 

Perhaps we have some pride around it. It gives us experience. There’s also the bonus of it. If we come back to the age side of things, sometimes things that are older, like a podcast, for example, are taken more seriously the older that it is. At the same time, there are podcasts that are incredibly successful, and theyre brand new like Barack Obamas podcast. Someone who just started off could be a massive success. Why? It’s because they have all this other experience beyond their podcast. All this stuff doesnt make any sense. It doesnt mean that much. We use it because, as human beings, we feel safe having contexts that make us feel like we have a better grasp and a better understanding of things. At the end of the day, its all BS. 

You could say that about a lot of life. Its a lot of the BS, worrying about things that we dont need to worry about and stressing over things that are completely arbitrary measurements. Whitney and I laugh because I have to laugh at myself for how much BS I stress over and how many times I need to stop myself and go, “What’s real here? Does this even matter? Youre stressing over something, why?” It’s important that we ask ourselves that. In the process of mindfulness and the process of self-awarenessto stop ourselves if we feel that were spiraling, whether its the comparison trap, someone judging us, rude comments on social media or comparing ourselves in our own minds to someone else. 

That’s my thing. Im like, “Stop. What’s real here? Does this matter? Do you even give a shit? Most of the time, it doesnt matter and I dont give a shit. That’s not to say that Im nihilistic or detached, but most of the time, when Im stressed or worried or anxious about something, its like, “You’re bleeding out energy that doesnt need to be bled out over this thing.” When we talk about time, ageaccomplishments, we’re going to have lots of opportunities if were sensitive to those things. Ive been sensitive about my age, thinking about my birthday coming up. The only reason Im sensitive about it is because I thought Id be in a different place in my life by this point. 

What does that mean? We thought wed be more successful. Successful how? Richer, more financially stable, wealthier, more influential? What did you think you’d be by this point? I have to be mindful because I use that to beat myself up. Some arbitrary measurement in my head fueled by society, social media and a million different sources of, “By this point of this number assigned to you, you’re supposed to have XYZ and you don’t, so youre a loser.” I have to be super mindful of that because if I go down that rabbit hole, its a dark place for me. It’s like, whos keeping score? Is my mom or my family keeping score? 

Is there some whiteboard somewhere of like, “Jason’s turning whatever this year. If he doesnt have XYZ, what a fuck up he is? We’re sure going to give him some shit next time we see him? There’s not any point on any birthday where Ive ever had anyone say, Jason, we thought youd be further along at this point.” No ones ever said that. Ive said it to myselfIm the cruelest person in myself, which Im working on, but no ones ever been like, Damn, J, number 40. We thought youd be doing better. Even if they think itfuck them. 

Lucky you. I cant say the same because those are things my mom says to me. I dont beat myself up in the ways that you do, at least not consciously. Im certainly going to reflect on it. Some people are judgmental. Maybe they dont say it to your face, but in a way, its a gift when someone does and maybe that’s why its easier for me, Jason. I can realize that because my mom was hyper fixated on my age and what that means for my life doesnt mean that I need to be. Perhaps, it happens in the opposite way when somebody says something to you enoughit affects you. I think about things in context to what my mother has shared with me, but that is more empowering because I realized like, “Do I need to think that way? No. Is that true for me? No. 

I love your questions that you shared about whats real here and whos keeping score. The truth is some people are keeping score, but because somebody is keeping score in your life doesnt mean that it matters. I love my mom, but her opinions of me dont matter. Theyre just her opinions on me and her perspectives on life. The older I get, the more I can distance myself from that. Ive also learned over time. Noticing my reactions to my friends showed me my practice because they have different opinions and feelings on genderI dont need to disagree with them verbally. I can observe it and reflect on it quietly and move on with my life. Im not somebody that wants to debate somebody about their beliefs on age, gender or time and all these other factors that we have. 

It’s such a healing process to become more aware and through that awareness, we can examine how we want to live in our lives and what matters to us. The final thought Id love to share is I do think its cool that we hit 200 episodes because 200 episodes for me means that we have worked hard. Weve been consistent with something and that’s important to me. The more that you do something, oftentimes, the results will come with it. The results that weve received with our show are incredible feedback from people. That has increased. The more that we have released episodes of the show, the more feedback weve received. That is a wonderful blessing. Its not necessarily a correlation. Just because you do something a lot of times doesnt mean somebody is going to like it or somebody whos going to notice it. 

For us, we have been blessed with amazing readers and feedback. We want to acknowledge you, the reader, for being part of our livesbeing consistent in reading and sharing your feedback. Maybe this is the first episode youve read and thats a gift as well. In terms of age too, its a gift to get older. Every birthday should be a true celebration of your life continuing, not a milestone of dread. My grandfather was always proud of his age. He would not just mark the years, but he would mark all the little progress that he made because he was grateful to be alive. 

If somebody asks, “How old are you? He wouldnt just say 97. He’d say 97.5. I remember doing that when I was little, but as adults, we dont usually do that. We’re more apt to round down than we are to round up. We go through transitions. It doesnt matter. My personal relationships or how I publicly speak about age, but I thought that was cool. When you look in the future, towards the end of our life, we start to want to live longer and longer. I cant speak for everyone, but if youre enjoying life, you dont want it to end. Every single day is such a gift. Im grateful that my grandfather exemplified that because when I think of him, I think it was a gift to have him live that long. That’s a good thing to reflect on for me as my birthday comes up. 

It begs an obvious question as were coming to the finish line of episode 20is in 2020, your birthday was about two weeks after the official shutdown here in Los Angeles and in most parts of the planet of COVID. Here we are one year later, at the time of this episode, still very much in the global pandemic, and your birthdays coming up again. You dont generally have the same kind of blowouts that I do or large crazy gatherings, many of which you have beautifully and skillfully organizedIm curious if you have any intentions or ways that you want to celebrate under the limited options that we still havin having a birthday in the middle of a pandemic. You have two birthdays now that youve celebrated in the middle of a pandemic. Any thoughts or musings, or desires of how you want to celebrate yourself? 

My Apple AirPods were a partial gift. I knew somebody, in particular, was going to want to give me something nice for my birthday. I thought that the AirPods would be nice, but we decided to split it because the AirPods are quite expensive. It was a gift to not have to pay full price for my AirPods. I was excited about that. Im going to try to remember this very present to the present of my headphones. I dont expect much more than that. Im very content. Gifts dont have a ton of weight for me. Im very practical. If somebody wants to get me a practical present, I would much prefer that over something I dont need because it feels like a waste of money, space and resources. 

MGU 200 | Reach Milestones

Status Anxiety

In terms of the other celebrations, I am considering the trip that Im taking for my birthday. Thats one of my favorite things. One of my favorite birthday celebrations I did with you is when you and I did our drive in 2019, where we drove up to Santa Barbara and spent the day up there going to restaurants and going to the beach with our dogs. That was great. That type of experience was as much more meaningful to me than a birthday party or a meal. lot of those are nice but not fulfilling. For me, the actual day of my birthday, I already took off on my calendar. Its a day off. Its luckily a Sunday. I dont feel like I will need to do any work that day. The following week is when I do my next road trip. I intend on savoring it, reflecting on it, and enjoying the process of traveling, which is something that has an even deeper meaning for me during COVID. 

Reader, if you want to share any birthday love with Whitney, you can always email us at [email protected]. Thats our direct email that Whitney and I respond to personally. If you want to send her any goodies too, we’re happy to send our mailing address. Maybe, Whitney, someone wants to send you some chocolate pudding or cool accessory for your Tesla, or maybe a nice sweater for Evie. If you guys want to send Whitney any kind of love, shoot us an email. 

Remember, I dont like gifts unless someone checks with me first or knows for sure that I want something. I dont like cut flowers. Its such a waste. If you want to give me flowers, they should be potted flowers. If you would like to give a gift, Id so much rather someone spoil the surprise and asked me what I want versus, I assumed that you want this sweater that youre never going to wear. 

There you have it, people, send her an email and say, Whitney, what do you want for your birthday? Let her answer and then you can send us the gifts. In all seriousness, we want to hear from you. If you have any thoughts on the episode of time, age, and the way that we arbitrarily assess each other with these things, we always love personal emails. We’ve been getting quite a few deep, raw personal emails lately. We love the fact that you feel comfortable and safe with us to comment on the topical matter and share your life stories with us. It’s always deeply meaningful when we receive those. 

We also have a great free resources section. If you havent visited our website yet, we have video training, eBooks, and guides. We have an awesome section full of freebies to empower you, help you achieve more balance and bliss with your mental health, your emotional wellness, and navigating social media. These are the things that we are extremely passionate about educating ourselves on in sharing those resources, tools and strategies with you. We love you. We appreciate you. We also have a YouTube channelwe’re going to be uploading a lot more video content on our YouTube channel and our Instagram Reels. Follow us there @Wellevatr. Next 200 episodes, here we come. Soon enough, we’re going to be at 300 or 400 episodes. Its going to be like, “How did we do that? One episode at a time. Join us for episode 201!

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